Everybody realises that you can’t expect things to fall into your lap, even if you haven’t done any preparation. Just senseless, wishful thinking. Even “asking the Universe” doesn’t work unless you put in the work. Very few free lunches.

For example. There’s a career you have set your heart on. Better realise, right from the start, that there will be some obstacles on the way. The greatest obstacle will be your own lack of preparation.

You need to study everything that’s involved in that career. Then take all the necessary steps to get there.

“What if I’ve tried and failed?”

Easy. Analyse exactly what you did. Positives and Negatives. Then try again, changing those things you’ve just learned: more of the positives and less of the negatives.

“How many times do I keep trying?”

How much do you want it? So many people give up too soon: maybe just a few yards from the finishing line. As Napoleon Hill would say: you must have a burning desire.

There are so many different levels of commitment. The more committed you are, the better your chance.

“I’ve tried everything, and still not succeeded!”

Keep on trying. You’ll find you haven’t really exhausted all the possibilities. There are so many stories of great inventors who pushed their staff to the limit.

“Look, boss. We’ve tried everything. It’s not going to work. What shall we do?”

The boss pauses, smiles, thanks them profusely, and then adds:

“I still want this, and I’m going to have it. It is possible. Keep trying. Back to the drawing board. Check it all out again. You’ll eventually come up with the answer.”

And they did what he suggested . . . and the rest is history.

In your life, you may not have to go to such extremes. Just believe there’s nearly always more you can do. If you really do want it enough, then it’s amazing all the new ideas, strategies and approaches that surface.

So, what’s behind it all? What drives this positive preparation? Determination, motivation, razor sharp focus, the desire that won’t go away.

The answer is always the same: that burning desire. Want it enough, you’ll prepare enough, and you’ll succeed. However, if after all that, it doesn’t happen, then what?

Well, maybe it wasn’t meant to be. So, try something else. At least you’ll be happy and content, knowing that you gave it your best shot.

That’s all any of us can do. But don’t give up; eventually you’ll get there. Abraham Lincoln said it, and demonstrated it many times in his own life:

One day your chance will come!

Gerry McCann

@themerry_monk

How has preparation helped you? What’s your experience? Leave a comment below. Thank you.

We’ve heard it all a thousand times. “Keep going”, “don’t give up”, and the one I really like: “when the going get tough, the tough get going.” I’m sure we’d all agree that persistence achieves far more than giving up at the first hurdle. However, there seems to be a great problem hidden here. “Why?”

Yes, “why keep going”? The only answer, that seems clear, is that we believe that it’s worthwhile. Especially if hardship’s involved. Nobody likes doing difficult things, unless there is a clear prize at the end of the struggle. A bit like the old “stick and carrot.” The carrot is what we want, and we’re prepared to work and fight for it, because it will outweigh the effort to get it.

Discover your own persistence carrots

So, what’s your prize, your carrot? It has to be something you’re really passionate about. It could be anything at all. We human beings are motivated by a desire for every possible kind of carrot. The secret, of course, is to find the carrot that appeals to you.

Your carrot could be something very personal: maybe some of the so-called “good things” in life. When we’re setting out on life’s journey, we need to make our mark, discover who we are, what we want, what we need, what we crave.

Passionate giving as well?

As we mature on life’s journey, we grow up a bit more, think a bit less about our own needs, and begin to become aware of other people’s needs. Making a contribution suddenly seems to make sense, even something we feel called to do.

It is precisely all those needs, wants, desires – in a word, all those heartfelt passions – that become the driving force behind our perseverance. If we care enough about something, then we’ll strive for it, keep going, never give up, and see it to a happy conclusion.

It is so sad to witness some people, seemingly without much passion for life. They are lacking great passion, and so they drift through life, often bored, unhappy and even jealous of others who are successful. Without much passion for anything, they can even drift into all kinds of negative behaviour.

Finding that “perfect job”

That’s why I believe all those self-help authors, who insist that we simply must discover our passions. Passions? Yes, dreams, visions for your future, that will get you out of bed in the morning. Some even talk of discovering your “life passion” – that one special thing, that you want to dedicate your life to.

It is also sad to see so many people, trapped in a work life that they hate.

“I can’t stand this job, but it’s all there is, and I have a family to support.”

I’ve known people like that. There are no easy answers to such problems, and certainly there’s “no one size fits all” solutions.

The life-style you’ll really love

However, perhaps the first step is to realise that, with a little bit of effort, thought, and help from other loving people, there may well be a better life possible. There is a tendency to give up too easily, become pessimistic, and imagine it’s all hopeless. Maybe it’s not. It could be that it is precisely here that we need this quote: “persist as resolutely as you persist in eating.”

We persist in eating, because we have a strong passion for it: we’ll die if we don’t. Let’s also find that kind of passion for fulfilment, happiness, and a life-style we can love.

I believe that, for all of us, more is possible. Perhaps even living some of your dreams. You have the persistence deep within.

Find it, use it, and be happy.

Gerry McCann

@themerry_monk

P.S.  I’d love to know what your carrot is? Tell us in the box below. Look forward to your comments.

Want to find inventive ways on how to amuse your kids, impress your partner, entertain your friends – but are running out of ideas?

Are you a student, writer, or blogger, and struggling to come up with what to write about, what topics to choose, that you can make a real difference with?

When you have free time, and your loved-one asks “what would you like to do today?”, do you look at them, and say, “I’m not sure; what would you like to do?”

Or do you just do the same old things, go to the same old places you usually do?

Well, you’re not alone in running out of ideas, not being able to decide what to do. Most of us, at some point or other, come across this problem.

There is an easy solution that you can use; one that will get your brain working overtime – without any hard effort on your part.

It’s a game called “what if you could . . . ?”

A fun game to play

You ask yourself  “what if I could do anything?”

What could you do, enjoy, have, experience or create?

You play it by making up lists. You write those lists in your list book, or file on your computer, tablet or phone. You can do them anywhere, any time, and make them however long or short you want. You can add to them, build them over time, or just keep making new ones.

I’m a great believer in lists: not lists that rule your everyday life, to be bound by an “I must do today” stick. However, lists can be useful when you need to focus on important deadlines. Yet this game is not about deadlines or goal setting. No, for me this game is about having fun.

Lists expand your thinking, help your imagination and creativity

If you spend a few minutes each day playing this game, you’ll soon discover the fun you can have with it, and love making your lists.

Your subconcious will love you for it, because you have given it more possibilities to work on: you’ll expand your thinking. You’ll lift your spirit, through feeling the enjoyment of experiencing them while you’re writing them, or re-reading them.

Your imagination will come to life, using its power to visualise what it would be like to do, or experience, some of things on your list. The more you allow your senses to feel these, the better you will enjoy making the lists.

For example: imagine your favourite food. See it now, in your mind’s eye. Watch it being prepared by your favourite chef. Listen to the sound of it cooking or sizzling on the plate. Smell the delicious fragrant aroma, notice the vibrant colour and shape of it.

How juicy, succulent and delicious it is; feel each mouthful, as you slowly bite into it. Notice the taste in your mouth as you chew each bite. Is it smoothe, sweet, creamy and buttery, or is it sharp, spicy, crispy or flaky? How yummy does it taste?

Enjoy imagining similar experiences, as you write your lists.

Fill your mind with new possibilities

I love using lists to get my creativity working, to help fill my mind with possibilities. I use lists to develop my imagination, get me thinking about a new project, a DIY job, things I’d like to learn to do, or places I want to visit.

Lists are like brainstorming ideas but, if you write them down in a notebook or journal, they will be there anytime in the future, to look over and think about.

Life changes in so many ways; what you might want or dream of doing today, may not be what you want next year, or even 5 years from now. That’s why lists are so much fun; you can make up as many new ones as you like, about anything you want.

Lists are also a useful way of asking yourself questions about how important those things are for you.

They help you to create new dreams, and make new decisions, about what you want to do. Lists help you to open up your mind to new things to think about.

Warning! Lists can become addictive

Why not make a new list every day just for fun, about anything you want? Or revisit old lists, and see how much of them have been ticked off, one way or another, in your life?

Don’t just make a bucket list of things you want to do before you die. Make others about food you want to try, books you want to read, music, films, theatre, sports, hobbies, restaurants, places to visit. List anything you want to spend more time on, or experience.

Allow the sensations of all your senses to come alive with each and every item you put on your lists. Imagine what it will be like. Let the experience of enjoying them become real in your mind.

Imagine yourself on that beach, or going to a concert, cinema, theatre, or socialising with friends. In short, don’t just wait to do these things to enjoy them. Make sure you enjoy just thinking about them while writing your list.

Get into the habit of doing this daily: while traveling, or enjoying a cuppa, or hanging around in a waiting room – in short, any time you have a few spare minutes. You will soon find that this fun habit becomes quite addictive.

It’s the one addiction that is good for you. You will improve your creativity, imagination and thinking daily; all, while having lots of fun.

Enjoy

Susan J. McCann

@susanjmccann

If you like this post please feel free to share it out. Many Thanks

PS Please tell us how you use lists, and the benefits you found from making them, in the comments below.

All genuine success in life is based on being true to ourselves. Living fully who and what we are.

In so much of your upbringing in today’s society, you’re taught to conform to a thousand other demands. You’re taught to fear being different from others.

Conformity is the mother of lifelong boredom. Crushing your creativity, your love of life, your very soul. Because it dumbs down your spirit, your zest for the life you want.

We simply need to dig deep, find a little courage to step out of the rut. We were designed to be unique and beautiful as we are. No need to mimic others.

Fear imprisons our very real passions, ambitions, dreams. Even daring to speak of them and you’re likely to receive a barrage of negative put-downs.

“You, do that? You must be joking.”

“You’ll never make a living doing that, only a handful of people manage that.”

“Forget it, you’d be better off getting a steady job.”

Recognize any of these type of put-downs? Well meaning comments, but devastatingly negative to our ambitions, dreams, passions.

Hey! Wake up.

Time flies.

You live only once.

Better to have gone for it, whatever the outcome. There’s a thrill, a joy, a delight in trying out new and exciting things.

Whether you “succeed” or not is secondary. True success is not in the result, but in the journey, the living, the process.

Authentic success is living in your own way. I’m not talking about selfishness. I’m talking about not letting other people dictate your life. Just discover and live your deepest and best self.

Simply have the courage to step out, each moment, and enjoy whatever is there. There’s magic everywhere. Open your eyes. Heaven is all around you in the wonders of nature.

It reminds me of the saying “work to live, don’t live to work.”  Letting the necessity of work and money dominate our whole life is madness. I’m not suggesting ditching your job, not supporting yourself, or your family. However, making a living doing what you love makes far more sense.

Why sacrifice the best years of your life slaving away? “You can’t take it with you.” Death awaits us all. Enjoy life to the full, right from day one.

Remember: success is in the wonder of each day, each moment. Lift your nose from the grindstone of life. As they say, “stop and smell the flowers.” 

You were never designed by your Creator to be a robot!

May I wish you true success in life.

Gerry McCann

@themerry_monk

P.S. Maybe you’d like to share this little quote with a friend. Feel free to leave a comment.  I’d love to hear from you. Thanks.

Nobody at all, with an ounce of common sense, is going to believe, trust or invest time, money, and effort in a loser. Make no mistake.

If you have little or no self-belief then – rightly or wrongly – you will be perceived, and treated, as a loser. No-one, unless they’re stupid, bets on a known loser. Ask any venture capitalist.

Successful investors always look for passionate, hardworking people who have enough self-belief to set out, and forge ahead on their own. Brave people, who risk their time and money in providing a new product or service for the benefit of others. It’s a ‘no-brainer’ – self-belief is an essential quality of spirit for entrepreneurs.

It’s also a quality, in fact, that we all need. A quality that’s truly needed, always and in everything: business, relationships, life, love, the lot. Without self-belief, we’ll sabotage our ability to work successfully with others. But that’s not all: we will also self-sabotage.

Your Self-belief is the Key to Your Success

“Anyone can do it”

If you lack self-belief, all your ambitions, aspirations and dreams will collapse. They’ll dissolve, and vanish . . . in a sea of doubt. Self-belief is absolutely crucial. Why?

Without essential self-belief, you won’t follow through. On anything.  A business mentor’s hardest job is to convince clients they can be successful. “Anyone can do it,” they suggest.

Yet we rebel at the thought. We build walls to defend our mediocrity. We cling relentlessly to the lie:

“I can’t do it; I’m a nobody.”

Often our negative conditioning in life has convinced us of this debilitating illusion.

You know you have the power – yet you just don’t believe it. Everything happens in strict accordance with how much we believe. Believe you can, and you can. Believe you can’t, and you can’t.

Your Self-belief is the Key to Your Success

Your special talents

The first step in achieving greater self-belief?

Recognize your own personal value and dignity. Deep down you know you have the unique gifts and talents you need.

You find that hard to believe?

You just need to think, for a moment, of all the many successful entrepreneurs, who perhaps have far fewer talents and gifts, in their niche, than you have in yours. Tell yourself the good news,

“If they can do it, then so could I. What’s stopping me?”

The reason they’re successful is that they went for it, they believed they could.

So? Forget the lies you’ve heard all your life, telling you

“Who do you think you are?”

” What do you know about running a business”?

“You’ll never make it!”

The power of self-belief is within us all, and at our command. We just need to discover it, believe it, and then use it.

Just remember that self-belief is not all or nothing: something we either have or don’t have, like a physical object. Self-belief and self-doubt are qualities of mind and spirit, rather than anything material. Therefore it’s a question of the degree, or level – how much or how little – we have of that quality.

A down-to-earth quality of mind

So, how much self-belief do you have? As with most things in life, the ideal outcome is a balance between the extremes. Neither “I can achieve absolutely anything” nor “I am quite useless, and can’t do anything worthwhile.”

We seek the golden middle way. Neither unrealistic optimism, nor a pathetic learned helplessness. A balanced middle view is the ideal; that would actually be more optimistic than most of us imagine.

So, what’s needed?

Realistic, down-to-earth, solidly grounded optimism! That’s a crucial factor that separates the high achievers from those who settle for mediocrity.

High achievers are so optimistic because they believe that with hard work, determination, perseverance, and creativity, huge success is possible. They’ve proved it, over and over again.

Even when things don’t work out, they remain optimistic. We all know stories of world-famous entrepreneurs who’ve failed more times than they’ve succeeded. But they persevered. They never gave up. They just learned another lesson, dug their heels in, and dived right in again.

Your Self-belief is the Key to Your Success

Most successful entrepreneurs really are ordinary people, much the same as you and me. They only difference is they had the belief, optimism and courage to simply go for it; and then persevere.

They know, better than most, that we all have massive abilities, which often go unrecognized. Such abilities can even be improved. We can all learn a wide range of skills, and so create a greatly enhanced and enriching life-style.

You need to find that belief and courage. You can then fashion a much better life for yourself and your loved-ones.

So . . . how? How do you find this self-belief and courage?

Success notebook

The first place to look is your past triumphs, your own track record. Trust your own experience. It gives you solid, concrete evidence that you can succeed in many things.

I am convinced it’s a brilliant idea to make a list of your greatest achievements up to date. So motivational! Buy a huge notebook, and use it just for this purpose. That list will be your very own self-belief manual.

Even better, add photos and gather physical evidence of past glories. For example dig out certificates, medals, prizes, rewards you’ve earned in the past – a veritable golden treasure chest of memories.

That was YOU, not anyone else.

Think too about the countless ordinary, everyday things you’ve learned and now take for granted. Everything you needed to learn and achieve to grow up into a well-rounded, and competent adult.

Again, that was YOU, not anyone else.

What an inspiring exercise, because that winner you’re looking at is a younger you. You’re still the same person, with even more experience. Why doubt now when you’ve already proved you can do it?

The next step is to add to this list regularly, as you recall other past successes. Look at these successes frequently. This will help continue building your confidence and self-belief.

Another powerful step: begin to jot down new and up-to-date successes. Increasingly, you will be looking forward to future successes and further entries in your self-belief manual, your “success journal,” as some call it.

Whenever you doubt, latch on to those powerful memories. Clear proof that you already succeeded in so many challenges. When you’re afraid and doubt yourself, remember the great things you’ve already achieved.

Maybe you disagree. You may be thinking,

“I’ve never really done anything great. It couldn’t work for me!”

I’m not talking about extraordinary things, like winning Olympic gold. You’ve a ton of experience and learning in everyday things we take for granted.

A toddler programmed to be a winner

Learn from yourself as a toddler. Let’s focus on one simple example. You learned to walk. Remember how?

It was a relentless, in-built drive. You never gave up. Day in, day out, you tried. Day in, day out, you made imperceptible progress. Day in, day out, you kept falling over. However, you just kept on getting back up again. It never entered you’re little mind to think,

“That’s it! I’ve had it! I’ve tried over and over. It’s not working. I’ll never be able to walk. Might as well settle for crawling!”

Think of what you did then, how you simply refused to surrender. I’m still talking about YOU, not some famous person. You too have succeeded in so many things. Use your imagination.

See yourself again in that situation. Feel again how you felt then. Picture it in detail in your own mind. Bring that power and feeling back into the now. It felt so good, didn’t it?

You were able to summon up your self-belief, and you succeeded. You proved you could do it, and you can do it again and again. Always focus on your successes.

What about all my failures?

Don’t worry about the past failures. They don’t mean you yourself are a failure, as a person. Keep it simple.

So-called “failure” is nothing more than a result of some action. You tried something, and it didn’t work out. No big deal. Just learn a better way. Rejoice in this positive “learning from your mistakes.”

Let me repeat: focus on your successes. You’re building your self-belief, not putting yourself down; no point in filling your mind with the times when things didn’t quite work out.

Use your success diary to note and remember all your successes. Keep adding to it, you’ll soon see that you have a lot more to inspire you.

Your Self-belief is the Key to Your Success

Lastly, one final and extremely important point: create a little team of positive people around you. As a group, you will supercharge the self-belief of each other. You will feed off each other’s energy, belief and wisdom.

Self-belief will go through the roof.

Your success is there for the taking. You deserve it. You know you deserve it. Take it. It’s yours.

Gerry McCann

@themerry_monk

So many of us go through life not using all our skills, gifts or talents. What about you?

To what extent do you use yours? Do you hide some of your talents from the world?

Ask yourself: what gifts, skills or talents have I used, shown or shared? Have I only uncovered the tip of the iceberg? Have I got more to offer?

It’s so easy to do the things, and share the skills, you already feel really confident about; but what about all those things that you can do, yet keep quiet about?

You know deep down you have much more to give.

So why don’t you? What’s stopping you?

I just haven’t got the time, you say to yourself. I can’t do everything.

Or is it because you just don’t think your gifts are not perfect enough? Is it because you’re scared of rejection? Is it because you fear how others may judge you.

How many talented people have the guts to put themselves on the line. Are you one of them?

Suppose you’ve got the time. Time’s not the real problem here. The real problem is often simply lack of confidence.

After all, using your gifts is not always about being the best, or even making a career out of them. Using your gifts and talents should be fun, you should enjoy using them. Think back to your childhood.

What can you learn from children?

Remember how you behaved. You’d sing and dance. You’d tell stories, play games and run races. You’d draw and have fun painting. You’d do all these things without any thought if they were good or not . . . until the first time someone put you down. Even then it may have taken some time to put a damper on your activity.

Is that why you’re so self-concious; is that why we you’re so fearful not to “show yourself up”? Is it because you have learned to lack confidence? Yes, learned; after all, I’m sure most of you sang, painted, ran, told stories, played games and sport, all without any thought of whether you were any good or not. Most of you probably thought you were good, but that didn’t really matter; you were enjoying it.

Who stole your self-confidence?

Many of us have learned to lack confidence, especially if we’ve been put down, laughed at, or told we weren’t good enough. Who told us? Well, the list is endless. These are just some examples: parents, teachers, peer groups, friends, family etc. We’ve allowed our confidence to be eroded, bit by bit, in so many small ways, over so many years and in different situations.

It’s not surprising then that most of us never venture forward with skills we may have, that are not perfected, not seen as outstanding or exceptional. Just because of some sense of “not being good enough”.

You don’t have to be the best 

For example, take shows like The X Factor or The Voice. We often hear the judges say things like “Yes she can sing, but she’s just not good enough”. So, does that mean her voice can no longer give pleasure to herself or other people? Just because she won’t make a hit single, or be at the top of the charts? I’m sure the judges of these shows don’t mean to stop them singing; but how many of the contestants often feel rejected and despondant?

Maybe they won’t get a hit record or a recording deal. Is that the only way to use their talent? Lots of singers give enormous pleasure to audiences all over the world, without ever reaching the so-called “top”. How many people with good voices give up altogether, and never sing in public again? What a waste of talent.

We all need to learn to be glad of our talents, and learn to enjoy them no matter what. Lots of us have talents, in all kinds of areas of life, that we’ve locked away: just because they’re not perceived as perfect. Why allow the best be the enemy of the good?

Your talents can bring happiness to many people

Let’s all remember to be more like we were as children, and learn to enjoy life, without worrying what others think. Skills, gifts and talents are wasted if we don’t use them to help people, or bring happiness or enjoyment to ourselves and others.

So challenge yourself to share your talents and stop hiding them. Learn to let go of worrying about not being perfect; none of us are. We only have to venture out of our hiding places, and give it a go.

A gift is meant to be given; share them with someone you trust, or you know will benefit from your help. Skills never improve without practice, and talents are meant to enrich your life.

You know, deep down, you have much more to offer. Don’t let the tyranny of perfection or being the best imprison your talents.

Come out of hiding. Make others happy and be happier yourself.

Susan J McCann

Happiness coach

@susanjmccann

Are you frustrated at not having the job you deserve?

Are you really angry at yourself, convinced you’ve let yourself down?

Great news! It doesn’t have to be that way.

You can change from today.

But are you ready for change?

Yes, I know. You think it’s impossible. You might be thinking: what can this one short post do to make such a difference?

There’s one easy-to-use strategy that was given to me, many years ago. So easy that you can hardly believe it works.

But it does!

Because millions of successful people are already using this one simple strategy. I would like to share it with you. You can start to use it today, as soon as you’ve read this post.

First of all, think about a Dream, a Goal, something that you really want that’s important to you.

Picture it in your mind. Really look at it, feel it and think about it, describe it to yourself in detail  Focus on it until it becomes a clear, vibrant picture that creates excitement and anticipation.

Now hold that feeling.

So, what is that word that would stop that dream from happening? That small word with such a huge impact is

Impossible!

You too can join those millions of successful people by eradicating that one simple word impossible from your thinking.

The Word impossible has a devastating effect on your subconscious.

Why?

Because that word stops our thinking.  It stops our subconscious looking for solutions. Solutions it could otherwise be searching for, working on, and figuring out 24/7. Until it discovers what you need to do.

That word impossible stops your conscious thoughts in their tracks. It programs your mind to tell you you can’t. It controls your mindset, attitude and actions. This negativity even affects how you view your life.

It kills your dreams.

That’s the very last thing you want, isn’t it?

Just like Jason and Mark.

Their Story

They are both in their mid 40’s, and have much in common: similar backgrounds, jobs,education. Both had been laid off and were looking for work.

scouring the papers, searching the internet, sending off their CVs. Each received rejection after rejection: over qualified, too expensive, too old. Both were disappointed, over and over, again and again.

Jason became discouraged, he eventually stopped searching for work. He moped around the house playing computer games. Watching TV.  Moaning to anyone who’d listen, how life had dealt him a bad hand. He felt he’d been tossed aside, thrown on the scrap heap.

You probably know lots of people  like that, who have given up, in all sorts of situations. Tragic. isn’t it?

But Mark kept going. He kept looking for work. He kept at it day after day, week after week, never giving up. Eventually he went to a small local company and spoke to the owner Michael:

 “Look, you can use my skills. I know you’ve no job to give me, but I can help you. I’ll volunteer my time. I must do something. I want to make a difference. I need to keep my skills up to date”

Michael eventually agreed: “OK but I can’t pay you.”

Mark went there everyday. He worked hard and made a difference. He was first one there in the morning, and the  last one to leave. He was cheerful, reliable and got on with everyone.  Six months later a manager left, and  Michael needed a replacement.

Guess who they selected? Yes, you guessed. Mark got the job.

They liked him, he was trustworthy, dependable, a good worker who had proved his worth. They were happy with him.

What was the difference between Jason and Mark?

Yes. Of course. That one little word.

Jason had come to believe it was impossible to get work, so he gave up and stopped trying. But Mark believed no matter how many knock-backs he got, that it was possible. He never gave up.

Just like Roger Bannister, never gave up.

Historic record breaker

Even though it was believed to be physically impossible to break the 4 minute mile. Roger Bannister would not believe it was impossible; no, he worked hard and trained hard.

And in April 1954 he eventually broke the record, running a mile in under 4 minutes. Something that was thought to be impossible was now shown to be possible. And guess what?

Within weeks other runners also did it. Since then well over 20,000 others, including school children have broken this record.

WHY were they now able to do it?  They no longer believe it’s impossible

Dr Robert Schuller believes that the word

“Impossible is a knife thrust at the heart of creativity”

He has learned that it blocks our thinking, it blocks our minds from looking for possibillities. It halts progress, research, innovation, technology;  even our dreams.

Let’s be honest

We need to unmask the word and call these impossibilities by their right name: Fears, that take over our thinking.

They are more honestly known as:

• Prejudices
• Challenges
• Problems
• Blind Spots
• Fatigue
• Ignorance
• Fear
• Excuses
• Ego Problems
• Laziness

It’s not impossible. You just don’t know how to do it yet.

It’s not impossible. You just need more time.

It’s not impossible. You just have to find new ways of doing it.

It’s not impossible. You just need to ask for help.

It’s not impossible. You just need to believe in yourself.

Now think back to what I asked you earlier. About what you want, your dream or goal. What would it mean to you to achieve it? What would it mean to your family, friends and loved ones? What would your life be like?  What other opportunities would open up to you? What else would be possible?

Now eradicate, erase, and expel the word Impossible from your thinking. Obliterate the word from your language. Free your subconscious to work 24/7 to find all the solutions you need. You can change your life by eradicating that one simple word

Are you willing to do this?

Now look again at your goals and dreams. Decide right now to make them possible. Now you know they’re not impossible, you just need to find out what you need to learn and do, then take daily action.

Wishing you the very best on making your goals and dreams, realities.

I’d love to hear about any tips or simple strategies that you’ve used to achieve your goals.

I believe we’re all more than a little terrified of attempting to do something really big and challenging. Something that seems to us almost impossible. Let’s take an example of when might this happen:

One way is when we are urged to set great goals for our life.

Sometimes we allow ourselves to become powerfully motivated, and inspired to break the mold. We start to believe that great success is just possible – even for me! We try to take on board what we read in self-help books. We become motivated to “go for it.”

We tell ourselves we believe it. We try it. We set the great goals, the “impossible dreams”. We may even write down these goals, and solemnly promise ourselves this is for real.

It makes us excited and happy. We’re over the moon. We can see it all! Wouldn’t that be fabulous?

The sudden shock of what might be involved

Then stark reality kicks in. I suddenly realize just what I’ve done. Fear and panic grip me:

“That goal’s huge. I’m terrified. It won’t work. Beautiful thought though it is: no way, man! Let’s get real! I can’t possibly do that. It’s not for me. It’s impossible!”

Back to dull but safe mediocrity

So, we calm down. We do “get real.” By that we mean that we choose to forget those “impossible” dreams.

“They’re just pipe-dreams,” we tell ourselves.

So once again we settle for the “possible”: tiny goals.

We can see immediately that these little goals really can be achieved. That comforts us. We rejoin the masses of underachievers. We feel much better now.

“Better than that going after the impossible” we feel, “too much stress and hard work! I’m not ready for  a mental breakdown!”

The secret of success revealed

The secret path to great success is the step-by-step approach. But let’s be quite clear why it’s a “secret.“

The secret here is not that we’ve never heard of “step-by-step”. The secret is this: it really will work for me too, if only I do it. Step by step really can overcome our natural fear and self-doubt.

The sad fact is that “step-by-step” doesn’t work for most people. Why not? Why do most people fail? Simple. They stop believing in themselves.

They also get fed up. Get bored. Lose interest. Lose patience. Look around for something different. Opt out. They give up. No staying power!

“I knew it wouldn’t work,” we tell ourselves.

Our comfort zones have become our jailers. We’ve all heard of comfort zones. However, we underestimate their power. What we fail to realize is that comfort zones can also be deadly. They paralise us. They really can hold us, chained and bound, in an iron grip.

Why? Because we think that we have to change everything overnight, and that terrifies us. Great fear stands guard at the door of every comfort zone.

What’s the answer? The magic key to unlock the door, push fear aside? PATIENCE! We need to be patient. We need to believe in the immense power of steady, relentless, day-by-day change.

It is well said that,

“We greatly overestimate what we can do in the short term, but vastly underestimate what we can do in the long run.”

The wisdom of Mother Nature

We need perspective. Mother Nature herself is our best teacher. The miracle of growth, in its countless million different forms, can only happen with time. Growth happens constantly, but so slowly you can’t see it. It’s like watching paint dry!

Kids take years to grow up. We can’t see those miniscule daily steps. Yet progress is relentless, 24/7. Let Nature teach us her lesson: the best way to grow, evolve and change is imperceptibly, step by step.

We are all under the curse of impatience. We’ve made an idol of speed and efficiency. Yet change is time bound, and we must patiently respect this fact of life.

Marathon man

Great goal achievement is a bit like running a marathon. I speak from experience. I began running marathons when I was 65 years old. I believed it was possible. I took all the steps, over a period of months. No problem!

It is a perfect metaphor for the step by step approach. To run a marathon you, quite literally, have to take thousands of small steps.

To jump 26 miles, in a single step, is impossibe. The very thought is absurd. However, realising that it will take you a few hours, you patiently set off at a comfortable, steady pace.

Each step is easy: something you’ve done, quite unthinkingly, ever since you were a child. We can all do that. As they say, “just keep putting one foot in front of the other!”

Easy steps

Whatever we want to do, no matter how difficult and seemingly impossible, can be achieved over time by taking steps. Break it all down into a series of small mini-tasks.

The key is right here: each and every step is small, easy and manageable.

Patience

That’s the magic ingredient. Yet so few of us have mastered it. I’m reminded of a little rhyme I learned many years ago:

“Patience is a virtue, get it of you can,

seldom in a woman, never in a man”

What’s your experience?

Search your own memory bank. I’ll willing to bet that there have been many times in your life when the simple step by step approach has served you well.

If you’ve done it before, you can do it again.

Just make completely sure that you’re absolutely passionate about the magnificent goals you want to achieve.

Make sure that love, service and commitment to others is at the heart of your ambitions.

Gerry McCann (The Merry Monk) 

@themerry_monk

“And Jesus said to them: follow me and I will make you fishers of men”

(Mat. 4:19)

Christian Meditation

My understanding of “Christian Meditation,” is very simple and straightforward. First, we find a quiet spot, where we know we won’t be disturbed for a little while. We gather our thoughts, and try to focus all our efforts on what we are doing, here and now.

That’s very important. Try to give all your attention to NOW. Right NOW!  Block out both the past, and the future. Just be “in the moment.” Be at peace; it won’t take long.

Have one simple aim in mind: to focus on the ever present God. We open our heart and mind in prayer, and come closer to God and His purpose for our life.  We enjoy a few moments of quiet, prayerful and mindful reflection.

My suggestion: first read a bible quote, and then ask the Holy Spirit to help you. One such classic prayer is this:

 “Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful, and enkindle in them the fire of your love.”

We spend a few moments, deep in thought: we reflect on the bible quote, and what it could mean for us. Then we speak to God, and listen carefully to what God says to us. We probably won’t hear words of course. However, we will know if it’s from God: it will be loving, caring and compassionate.

I am convinced that this little dedication, of your time and energy, will help you to keep better focussed on your true purpose in life. This is so important in today’s secular world, where we are bombarded with all kinds of information, good, bad and indifferent.

It will be a little oasis of prayer in the midst of this ongoing turmoil. It will be time very well spent, and beneficial to us in every way. Find time every day to just do it.

Your unique vocation in life

In this particular meditation, we concentrate on the fact that God has a very special purpose for every single one of us. Yes, of course we have free will. But God has the very best plan for our life, and works in complete harmony with our own will. We need never fear God’s Plan for us!

God continually speaks to us, in a thousand different ways, guiding us to come more and more into His perfect Will for our life.

We should always bring God into the picture, especially when facing major life choices. Even “self-help” books always insist that we must discover our major life goal, our calling, our destiny. We Christians agree!

However, in choosing and deciding our life’s work, it is absolutely essential to ask God’s help. God alone is Wisdom itself. He created you. He knows everything about you, every “hair on your head.” God is our best counsellor, adviser; a true friend.

Hence it makes absolute sense to make God part of your discernment process. Ask God’s help to uncover your deepest, most authentic passions and convictions. After all, they are His own gifts to You. This precious self-knowledge will show you the way forward.

Think of the Parable of the Talents. Put your talents to the best use possible. God’s with you, softly calling, illuminating your path, guiding your steps.

Ask yourself: What’s my special vocation? What talents has God given me? How do I use them? Could I plan my life better? How can I grow and improve every day? How can I be more loving and kind?

Closing Prayer

“Lord, guide my steps, fill my heart, enlighten my mind so that I may know Your Ways. Praise and Thank you, Lord.”

Just how free do you think you are?

The word “Freedom” is one of the most emotive, explosive and contentious words in any language. The reason seems obvious: freedom is perhaps the deepest and most intense desire of the human heart.

Why do I say that? Just witness the horrendous battles that have been fought over freedom, ever since time began. It really does mean that much to most of us. It’s a “no-brainer.”

What about you? What’s your take on your own personal freedom? Are you just like the rest of us? We all take it for granted, don’t we? Don’t you just know and feel it in your bones: that you would never, ever allow anyone to take away your freedom? Or make a “slave” of you?

“No way, man! I’d rather die!”

So why would death seem a better option? Because you would be de-humanised! That’s right: without freedom we are scarcely human. We might think, “if we can’t be human, then we might as well be dead!

Freedom or death?

Yes! “Freedom or death” is a cry that resonates with all of us. That rallying cry has been repeated down through the ages;  and it’s still alive and well in today’s suffering, broken and tragic world. Even if we live in a “free” country, where citizens have a greater degree of personal and political freedom, we can still suffer from a subtle, self-imposed lack of freedom.

“Self-imposed? You mean I do it to myself? You gotta be kidding me, right?”

No! You heard right! I’m dead serious. How straight do you want it? We stupidly allow ourselves to become “slaves” in our minds and hearts. We surrender our inner freedom, taking on board countless opinions, beliefs and values of other people. And the saddest part is that often we don’t even think about it, we don’t even know it!

We have our greatest enemy right there inside, hidden deep within our mind and heart. The “enemy within.”

Beware this all-embracing enemy of your freedom!

The enemy’s name? CONDITIONING! That all-powerful yet subtle influence, that’s everywhere in our life. Making us do things of which we are scarcely even aware.

It’s unrelenting: day by day, week by week, we are conditioned by no fewer than three massive influences that condition our life.

Massive influences? “Who? What? Where? When? Why? I don’t get it!”

Pause. Think for a moment. You’ll recognise them immediately: 1) family and upbringing, 2) society and the environment, 3) yourself!

Family conditioning

It’s no surprise, of course, that the people who’ve brought us up from birth exert a colossal influence on us. All through our young years, we are often simply told what to do, how to behave, even how to think. No surprise then that when we grow up our mind, heart and spirit and crammed full of other people’s stuff. In a very real sense they’ve actually created us.

This raises a huge and important question: “How do I know what’s been taken on board from others? How do I discover whether it’s what I really want?”

As adults we need to make up our own mind. We need to judge all that stuff inside: our thoughts, convictions, beliefs, feelings, prejudices, opinions – a whole interior world. It needs judging, because there’s almost certainly a huge mixture of good, indifferent, and perhaps even bad.

So, what about everything we’ve been told growing up? What should we do? How do we judge? Well, what does any judge do? Simple! The judge ASKS QUESTIONS.

Look in the mirror. Self analysis needed

The only way we can overcome childhood conditioning, and start thinking for ourselves, is to grow up and start questioning. Question what?

I would suggest everything we’ve learned. Our beliefs, values and principles, in order to truly be our own, need to be worked  through in our own minds and hearts.

That’s the only way we leave behind one world and enter another. We must grow up, and no longer “think like a child, talk like a child, and act like a child.” We ourselves must become responsible for what we think, believe, love and do.

We put aside the things of childhood, and become adults, as we reach greater and greater levels of maturity, personal freedom and self-determination. We must live our own agenda, according to our own values. Become our own person.

How much questioning do you do?

This questioning process must last throughout our life. Why? Because the society and environment we live in also exerts its own all-embracing, constant influence. We are continually bombarded with other people’s opinions, beliefs and values.

Do we take them on board, with even thinking? If we do, then we ourselves are also partly responsible for our conditioning. It’s frightening how much we are conditioned. We absorb the values, beliefs, life-style, opinions from our environment.

We simply must say “Stop! Hang on a minute! Is that really true? Does that make sense? Is that what I want to do?”

Search your heart, and discover your very own deepest beliefs and values. This self-questioning can be very painful, as we leave aside much of what we’ve learned. However, in the end you are truly free inside, creating, living and enjoying your own agenda.

Conditioned? Live your own agenda

The moral of the story is very simple. As adults we question to discover our authentic values. Then we set our own agenda according to those values: find our own truth, live our own life in our own way. Why live a lie?

But someone might object, “isn’t living your own agenda a certain recipe for selfishness and indifference to other people?”

That’s a good question. Yet the answer is clear. Our agenda must spring from our values in life. And the greatest value is love and concern for others. Our loved-ones should have nothing to fear from our truly authentic self.

If love is at the centre of our hearts and minds, then we’ll pay full respect and reverence for the agenda of all other people. This is especially true for those closest to us. Our agenda must never ride rough-shod over their genuine wishes and desires. The way forward is loving dialogue.

Ultimately you’ll be happiest by being yourself: your true, honest, inner self, spirit, mind and heart!

Gerry McCann

@themerry_monk

So many people see dyslexia as a disadvantage, why is that?

The reason is that they don’t fit into the perceived “normal” tick box in our education systems. In the past, and even now in some cases, the education system has just simply not understood why and how a dyslexic child learns and processes information.

Because dyslexic children found it either impossible, or really difficult, to learn in the same way other children do, they were labeled as either stupid or lazy. We now realize that such a view is simply ignorance. They don’t need to be cured it’s not a disease, as some people still believe; they just think differently.

I’m dyslexic, and understand all too clearly how it felt. When I was at school, my parents were told I was bright but very lazy, not applying myself. I knew this wasn’t true, as I worked really hard trying to learn. So I thought I must be stupid. I didn’t discover I had dyslexia until I was 40, as a mature student in my second year at University. It was like a great weight had lifted from my shoulders.

It was a really emotional experience; finding out, for the first time, that I wasn’t stupid or lazy. My brain just processed information in a different way. Imagine if you can’t do something: like sing, draw or dance; and you’re told you must be stupid, because you can’t do these simple things. How do you think that would make you feel?

Would it mean that, just because you didn’t have these skills, then you wouldn’t amount to much. What would that do to your self-esteem and confidence?

Hopefully, we’ve now moved on from this perception, and use different methods of educating dyslexic children. Now they can reach their full potential, and feel valued and confident about themselves.

Even so many people, outside the education system, still persist in seeing being dyslexic as a disadvantage. This is because they only focus on the problems that dyslexics have in learning:

• Reading
• Writing
• Maths
• Working memory

Employers and work colleagues often assume that dyslexics will have trouble doing their job. There’s still a lack of understanding about the surprising benefits of being a dyslexic. Society at large is still focussed only on their problems, not their strengths that they can bring to the world.

The positive strengths dyslexics have

Their are a lot of benefits to being dyslexic; they tend to be more creative. They very often think way outside of the box, and generally see the bigger picture. Dyslexics usually have far more empathy for others who are disadvantaged by negative attitudes in society. Maybe that’s because they may have suffered themselves from how others see and judge them.

Lots of research has shown the many benefits of dyslexia

“The gift of dyslexia is truly the gift of mastery. A dyslexic person can master things faster than the ordinary person can even understand them” Ronald D Davis

“You need dyslexics around; they really change our view of the things”                                                                                                                                                   Professor John Stein, a Professor of Neuroscience at Oxford University

“Millions of individuals with dyslexia are good at what they do, not in spite of their dyslexic processing differences, but because of them”  Brock l. Eide, MD., MA and Fernette F. Eide, MD, from their book  The Dyslexic Advantage

 Some famous dyslexics: 

• Albert Einstein
• Richard Branson
• Leonardo da Vinci
• Winston Churchill
• Hans Christian Andersen

As you can see, dyslexics have a lot to offer.

Instead of  being a disadvantage, the dyslexic way of thinking should be seen as a real advantage, not just to them but to society. Let’s hope society at large can look upon dyslexics in a better light from now on.  How about you?

Susan J McCann,

@susanjmccann

“Choose my instruction instead of silver, knowledge rather than choice gold; for wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her. Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning.” (Proverbs: 8,9)

This famous passage, from the ancient Book of Proverbs in the Bible, sings the praises of knowledge and wisdom in words that still touch the heart today. For me, it says this:

Better a simple, honest and beautiful guy, than a rich guy who’s superficial and selfish.

Your awesome gift of intelligence

Knowledge and wisdom are truly desirable goals, and utterly worthwhile for any man, woman or child. One of your greatest gifts is intelligence:

You can think, reason, study, analyze, interpret, remember, and communicate about everything that you receive from your senses. You can accumulate knowledge; but even that’s not enough.

Why? Because you also need wisdom.

Wisdom: your rock-solid foundation

What exactly then is wisdom? Wisdom is simply the practical and effective use of knowledge in order to manage life’s challenges. Knowing what to do with your knowledge and information.

Above all, it’s through wisdom that you grow and evolve as a person: to become a fully rounded awesome human being, in mind, body and spirit.

It is wisdom that convinces you that life’s really all about:

• Love,
• Sharing,
• Giving,
• Friendship,
• Kindness,
• Happiness:
• Your continual growth, development and fulfillment as a person in society.

When you compare and contrast this knowledge and wisdom with the “silver, rubies and gold” of the quotation, then you realize that they really are meaningless lumps of metal and earth.

Wisdom: your personal life coach

• Wisdom gives you insight: it helps you to discern what is true, right and just.
• It helps you fashion your deepest beliefs and values.
• It gives you some idea of why you’re here at all, what life’s really all about.

Wisdom set you apart from the whole of the animal kingdom, surviving simply on instincts. You’re not just a body and brain like an animal.

We humans have spirit and soul, that enables us to evolve a million times more than the animals.

So why not live according to this gift of knowledge and wisdom?

Why descend to the level of animals? Indeed some humans act in such a depraved manner that even the animals would look the other way.

So, keep learning and growing, spearheading your own evolution towards success, happiness and contribution to others.

Wisdom: your key to human progress 

What are those necessary areas of your life that could benefit from further learning, knowledge and wisdom?

Important areas like career, work, family, relationships.

Start asking yourself all these extremely powerful “what-if?” questions. Your work and career for example:

• What if you took a few courses and got promotion at work?
• What if you learned all about another kind of job.
• What if you switched to a different kind of work, that you’d enjoy much better?

This kind of questioning could totally transform your life in knowledge and wisdom.

Just think: You could examine, understand and then overcome countless deep-seated issues that affect us all. Things like

• Negativity,
• Self-doubt,
• Irrational fears,
• Settling for a mediocre life-style,
• Laziness;  and so on.

Wisdom: your inner journey

That’s the magic of that inner journey into your deepest soul, where you discover the depths of who and what you are. This is the greatest wisdom there is.

As the wise saying has it: “self-knowledge is the beginning of wisdom.”

Gerry McCann, The Merry Monk

themerry-monk

Author: “Where on earth did my book disappear to?”

As authors we need to sell our work. Buyers have almost unlimited choice these days. Your books can disappear, lost among the countless other books published every year. I too have experienced that awful feeling:  you invest a big chunk of your life writing, and hardly anyone is interested. A bit soul-destroying, isn’t it?

How to find the needle in the haystack

If your books aren’t selling very well, you need to find out two things:

1) why people are not buying, and

2) what you can do about it.

Number 1: as you know, there can be very many different reasons why your book’s not selling. That would be a long and complicated post in itself, delving into the whole complex business of creating, marketing and selling your books.

Number 2: however, I’d like to share a few thoughts about what you can do to attract more readers:

The all-important “like-ability” factor

So, how to attract those much-needed readers? Let’s focus on an essential element; something important that you can, and must do: make people like you and like what you say. So, how do you do that? As an author, you need to convince them that you’re a nice person, and that you’ve something useful to say.

How do they come to the conclusion that you’re a nice person? Simple: write nice stuff. Nice stuff? Yeah, beautiful, loving, inspiring, motivational stuff, that displays your best values and beliefs. Your readers need to warm to you, attracted by your human values, such as love and compassion. The author’s attitude of caring, kindness and concern for people will attract the reader.

Author: Your unique “like-ability”

The author’s voice, the unique way you write, must attract the reader. It must be authentic, springing from a good heart. It is very difficult to pretend to be caring, when on the inside we are quite different. The ‘real you’ will come through in your writing, and the reader will pick up on it. This positive relationship you build with your readers is vital. They become your “clan” and look forward to your next book.

Author: Your caring is crucial

If readers feel the author doesn’t really care about them, they turn off immediately. Our caring for our readers must be genuine; part of a generous love and care for all people. If not, we could be perceived as putting on an act – just to sell books.

Why strive for such altruistic love? Simply because we are all part of our incredible human family. As they say, “A stranger is simply a brother/sister I haven’t met yet.” I really believe that; and I’m sure you do as well.

We are all in this together. That’s the root of our caring – we are all family.

And we authors have much to give

Gerry McCann – the Merry Monk

@themerry_monk

 Entrepreneurs: It’s all about people skills  

As we know: cash is king! You can never succeed as an entrepreneur if the business doesn’t make money. Simple as that! No profit, no success, all out of a job. Money, as we all know, is necessary. In itself it’s neither good or bad. It’s how we use it that’s important.

However if all you really want, as an entrepreneur, is simply to make money for its own sake, then that could be dangerous. Why? Because that desire for money could affect other parts of the business. It could affect the way we treat people. Our people skills will let us down. People, as we know, are more important than anything else. What people? Staff, clients, customers, suppliers, etc.

Unless we entrepreneurs learn how to deal with people, then staff will become fed up and leave. Clients won’t be back for repeat business. Suppliers will let you down. Unless you have the right people skills, you run the risk of a failed business.

So, what can be done? Take another look at the picture. What do you think? How convinced are you as an entrepreneur that you must have love and wisdom to be successful ?

Entrepreneurs: It’s all about persuasion too

It’s a no-brainer – successful entrepreneurs are good at Persuasion. Your customers have to believe in you, and believe in your products. You can’t persuade anybody if you can’t get on with people. So, how does the entrepreneur do that?

Entrepreneurs: friendly people of love and wisdom

I believe it’s all down to love and wisdom. Love?  Simply being a genuine, kind, thoughtful, caring person. Above all, treating everyone with respect and courtesy. And wisdom? Wisdom is just love in action. A really loving person will usually know the best thing to do. Why?

Because they really care, they make friends easily. That’s why successful entrepreneurs listen to others and learn, work closely with others, and find the best way forward. A friendly approach builds great teams, and customers come back for more.

This friendly attitude is a must when dealing with aggressive and difficult people. Instead of driving them away and losing business, you win them over. It becomes a win-win deal, good for you and good for the customer.

Entrepreneurs: Win friends and build influence

Why not read Dale Carnegie’s brilliant work “How to win friends and influence people.” An old book, yes. But no way is it out of date. Why? Because Dale worked out all the best ways to get on with people. He spent his life teaching people these simple lessons in human psychology. He became a giant in his time. That’s why people still read his books a hundred years later.

His book is all about respect, listening, genuine interest in others, entering into their world, and building solid, friendly and lasting relationships. Entrepreneurs who do that will have customers eating out of their hand.

Dale Carnegie explained that only a honest person of integrity and genuine love for other people succeeds. He believed that people, chiefly motivated by self-interest, would never build such creative relationships. They would fail.

Og Mandino: love in the heart

An entrepreneur needs this friendly approach for all their contacts. Og Mandino, in his excellent book, “The greatest salesman in the world” teaches entrepreneurs that they must approach others with this little mantra: “I greet this day with love in my heart.” That secret powerful heartfelt love will reach everyone they meet. It will transform their success rate.

Here we’re not talking about romantic, emotional love. What’s essential is a genuine human concern for the other person’s welfare. If we have such love, then we can persuade because we listen.

My Wife, a born entrepreneur

My wife is a good example of what Og Mandino says. Her deepest convictions drive her to help others. Even at the age of 17 she was very successful at door-to-door selling. But that’s not all; throughout her adult working life she has successfully dealt with difficult and challenging people, and in various situations, both in the workplace, and as a volunteer with different Charities.

She could get through to people, communicate with them. Whatever their challenge, she helped them move forward in a new and positive way. Her very first instinct was simply to listen to them. So often such people are angry and even violent. Why? Because nobody ever cared enough about them to really listen to their story.

She opened up to them; she didn’t judge them. She just talked with them. They liked her, opened up, and were able to receive help to move on.

Entrepreneurs: your final tip

• A friendly approach always persuades, and breeds success.

John Gerry McCann – The Merry Monk

@themerry_monk

After all, what’s life all about, if not love and happiness?

Many of us are not always as happy as we should be. Why is that?

Well, maybe it’s because we are searching for happiness in the wrong places. Maybe we have gone down the wrong track. We often travel through life as passengers, but are we on the right track?

Life offers us many different paths. Sometimes it’s difficult to choose which way to go. That’s what’s so exciting about it; it’s often a great adventure. However, sometimes we just drift into things, and stay for the ride.

If you’re enjoying it, and find you have found your passion on the way, you feel fulfilled – living a rewarding and happy life. That’s wonderful. If, on the other hand, you’re just treading water, feeling as if life is passing you by, then you need to stop and think.

Are you on a journey of fulfillment? Are you happy with how things are going in your life?

If you are, I congratulate you; you have achieved true success. You are on the right path, you have found your true destiny, and are thoroughly enjoying your journey. You are one of the lucky few who have followed your true path.

However, if you’re unsatisfied with where you’re at: wanting more from life, knowing it’s out there, but not knowing how to get there . . . then read on.

Do you want more from life; you want to change the world, make a difference, make your mark. Does that sound like you? The big problem is that although we have been taught, at school or college, about the basic skills we may need for work, they left out the main deal.

The most important one, in my opinion. It’s about who we are as individuals, and who and what we could be, if we knew how.

What is your dream, your ambition? Is it having lots of money?

Yes, we can all say I want to be rich, or famous, or have lots of power. Do we think that, if we get those things, then we will be truly happy and fulfilled? Once we’re rich, famous or powerful will we have finally reached our full potential? Or discovered our true mission in life?

Think so? Just read the papers, look at the news and gossip columns; they’re filled mostly with famous people, rich people, politicians, all types of power brokers. How many of them are in the news for all the wrong reasons?

Do they seem happy to you, do they look like they’re truly fulfilled, living a life of contentment in all areas of life? How many of them have happy marriages, relationships, or feel great about themselves?

We’re always seeing stories or interviews about how so many of them are unhappy. Searching for happiness and fulfilment, while in reality they very often feel pain, rejection, depression, lack of self-belief or even despair – despite all their fame and money.

Of course, having money, fame or power doesn’t mean you can’t be happy. It just means that searching for happiness or fulfillment, through gaining those things alone, is a fool’s errand.  Most of us in the western world have been told by our parents, teachers, and society in general, that we need to get a good job, to support ourselves and our family.

That’s all well and good; after all, you need money to live. But success has been seen in terms of fame, money and power. The need to be successful and happy has been equated with these things to such an extent that we, you and I, have been sold a dream that many of us have gone along with.

Is your search for happiness getting the right results?

Research over the last 50 years in the western world has shown that, although we have increased in wealth and prosperity, this does not guarantee our happiness (see Richard O’Connor’s book “Happiness”). In fact scientists have found that, over the years, studies show that people are less happy every year, even though many of us are far better off than our ancestors. Why is that?

Well, some of the by-products of searching for the dream of riches and success may actually be the cause of much of our stress, depression, drugs, drink, obesity, anxiety and low self-esteem.

Not being rich or successful can make people feel like losers. How often have you heard people say “I’ve lost everything, I’ll always be a nobody, I’m a failure” –  just because they have lost their job, or not made it to no. 1, or been given the promotion they expected to get? Does our inner happiness depend totally on undependable external factors?

Even if we do make money, it never seems enough; or, if we get that important job, the dream just doesn’t live up to the promise of the happiness we thought it would bring. For example: overwork, and spending less time with family and friends. Not looking after our health. Not feeling fulfilled when we do finally reach your goals.

We often stay in jobs we hate, because we need the money for the lifestyle we think we need, to be seen as a success. Constantly having to keep up with the image of being successful by having a bigger house, the latest phone, the fastest car.

Even worse is the insatiable appetite to be young, skinny and beautiful. The image that is portrayed in the media as being the ideal, the way to be happy. They tell us that if we keep young, slim, physically attractive, then we will be happier.

Many men, women, boys and girls out there believe in this fairy story. They are driven to try and find happiness in the pursuit of external trappings, material wealth, unhealthy diets and cosmetic surgery, in the unrealistic search for that perfect young body. No wonder so many people turn to drugs, drink, food, shopping, gambling, etc: using other ways to find happiness.

We all need to stop searching for the illusive rainbow, the pot of gold that we’ve bought into; true happiness won’t be found there. When the dream is an illusion, it will always let us down.

Many give up, give in, or stop searching – while most of us just keep on going stoically, day after day, trudging on in the same old way. Not taking any action, but knowing there is more to life than this.

So what’s to be done? Where are you on your journey to happiness?

Well, wherever you are on your own journey, stop and look at where you are right now. Ask yourself these questions:

• Am I happy on this track?
• Am I happy doing what I’m doing everyday?
• Do I spend enough time with my family and friends?
• Do I enjoy my work?
• Do I feel fulfilled?
• Do I look after my health?
• Am I using my gifts to help others, in a way that makes me feel good?
• Have I found the right partner?
• Am I happy with my lot in life?
• Could I do much better?
• Could I learn new skills and develop my talents?
• Do I add value to others?
• Do I really know what I want?
• Am I the person I want to be?
• What would I really like to do in life, if money didn’t matter?
• What do I really care about?
• Who do I want to be?
• Could I take time out each day to reflect on who I want to be?

Ask yourself these questions every day, until you start finding out the answers. Then write them down. Spend serious time each day, thinking about who you are and what you want to be. Success is measured by how we live our lives, and how that makes us feel. Happiness is an internal journey. One that will take us on our true path to happiness. Because the fact is we can only control our own feelings; we cannot control our external world, outside events.

We can learn to be happy, we can find the right road to follow to be happy and fulfilled. It does need work, it often takes time to discover, it will be difficult and challenging at times; but it’s a great adventure. You just have to recognise if you’re on the right track, and if not: stop, and find the right one for you. One that you have full control of, that doesn’t depend on other people’s expectations. Don’t just drift along aimlessly, on a ready-made path that you’re not happy with. We can all change our direction, we just need to discover which one is right for us.

We only get one chance in this life; so make sure you’re on the right journey for you, one that will bring you true happiness.

Let me know where you are on your journey.

I’d love to hear how you discovered the right road for you.

Susan J McCann

@susanjmccann

New Entrepreneur?

Are you starting your own business? Perhaps you’ve already travelled on this path for some time? Or maybe still just thinking about it? Excellent! I wish you all the very best. Perhaps the following few paragraphs will help.

People who can inspire us

I think every entrepreneur can learn from the example of others. We need to study what others have done in the kind of business we’re interested in. They can become your role models. Their life is like an open, living text-book, teaching us many important things we need to do, to succeed as they did.

Be smart! Don’t re-invent the wheel, but learn from other people’s mistakes. Take on board the hard lessons they’ve learned. You can short-circuit the learning process. Why on earth waste long years discovering what someone else already knows and lives?

Example of Maximilian

Let me share the example of a truly awesome entrepreneur, whose life has been a personal inspiration to me for almost 60 years: Rev. Maximilian Kolbe. Never heard of him? Perhaps that’s because he wasn’t a businessman at all; he was a Franciscan priest and monk. Maybe we could call him a religious entrepreneur? His “business”? Helping people discover a deeper meaning in their life.

He was an extraordinary and passionate Christian missionary, who inspired and led millions of others to a better way of life. Heroically, he also lived to the full the message of love that he preached: in 1941 he freely sacrificed his life for another prisoner in the Auschwitz Concentration Camp, dying of thirst and starvation. His church awarded him the greatest possible recognition and honor, declaring him a saint. A brief look at a few of the things he did show us what one man can do.

A preaching revolutionary

Already, a hundred years ago, Maximilian totally transformed the way the gospel was preached. He had the vision and courage to break the ancient mould. This was largely preaching to the “converted”, and restricted to the church pulpit. He realized that there are countless better ways to get the message out there. Using the mass media he could reach out to all kinds of people.

Like a wise entrepreneur, he always knew he couldn’t do much on his own. He inspired so many young people to join him that his work became massive. He eventually founded a new Franciscan community in Poland that had almost 700 brothers. They spread the Christian gospel through all the very latest means of communication: the printed word, radio, film, even TV – then still in its infancy.

Before the second world war he was even building runways for his own aircraft. All the work was done with the help of his Franciscan community. A brilliant organizer, he achieved a success that made history. There had never been a religious community like it: nor since!

He was a man who, in spite of constant ill-health, developed an unbelievable personal strength, courage and determination, because his work was beyond everything his contemporaries imagined or even approved.

How did he achieve all this? Very simple. Like every successful entrepreneur, he discovered his passion, and then really lived it. He was a deep thinker, and soon discovered the one thing that he loved, more than anything else in the world: sharing his faith in the God of love to make people happy and fulfilled.

His own role model was St Francis of Assisi, the 13th Century founder of the Franciscan Order. Like Francis, he sought to live the Christian gospel as literally as possible. This gospel was summed up by Jesus himself: love God, love neighbor.

Like Maximilian, my role model was also St Francis. I was also inspired to become a Franciscan.

My religious challenges

I spent 7 long years in a Franciscan seminary, training to become a priest and monk. Our self-discipline was forged in a well-structured and demanding 16-hour day. Then, after 20 years as a priest, I faced my greatest challenge yet: a call to work in Latin America. I spent 5 years in Honduras and 3 years in Costa Rica. You can well imagine the inner strength I needed for such a massive life-style change!

Following the example of both St Francis and St Maximilian inspired me to try my very best to carry out my own mission. And I am nothing special: just an ordinary boy who found good role models. I faced risks, doubts, challenges every single day; and so will you as an entrepreneur.

Steve Jobs

Think of the late Steve Jobs and his Apple team. A man of great inner strength and conviction, willing to dedicate himself to his vision, and meeting with unparalleled success. He had learned, as we all do, by his constant effort to grow, strengthen and build himself into something special.

Your Personal transformation

Personal transformation really is possible for everyone. It’s no secret: everybody knows that. Why not you too? Be another Maximilian or Steve, or whoever else inspires you. Learn from them, copy them, let their example mentor you. Believe the countless thousands others who’ve done it.

Read their stories, listen to their testimony, learn some of their practical strategies and tips. In this way you are empowered to build your own character, strength of will and the pursuit of excellence in your own unique way.

We all have the power to change, grow, develop and become stronger, wiser, successful. And, I believe, most important of all: you can also become much more loving, giving, and making a real difference.

Success is also for you

To sum up: work smart, copy the best. The more you grow, the better your chances of success. So be brave, stretch and inspire yourself, pick up the baton and go for it. Play your small part in leaving this world a better place when it’s time to go. Maximilian did. Steve did. I have tried to do the same. Why not you too?

You could even die happy and fulfilled. Now that is worth fighting for!

Gerry McCann  – The Merry Monk

@themerry_monk

How to face tough challenges

Business is tough, and not suitable for the faint-hearted. A strong character is crucial. The entrepreneur often finds him/herself working morning, noon and night, and even seven days a week. So many different things to do. In place of a regular salary you find yourself cast adrift into an uncertain financial future.

No money comes in unless you make it happen yourself, constantly, day after day. Excuses don’t change the harsh financial facts of life: it’s all down to you! Your responsibility, for that’s where the buck stops. Blaming others won’t change things.

What customers really want

Finding and keeping customers is a great challenge. They owe you nothing; it’s a harsh fact of business life. They simply want the best deal, and will go elsewhere to a competitor to find it. With many such challenges it’s easy to understand that as an entrepreneur you need a profound strength of character. This means that an honest self-assessment of personal strengths and weaknesses must be made before attempting the impossible demands of an enterprise you’re unsuited for.

Strong character: entrepreneur’s best asset

An entrepreneur must have a strong character, otherwise he/she will very quickly fold under the pressure. Why? In the fiercely competitive business world, it often seems like “dog eat dog” and “survival of the fittest”. Being an entrepreneur means leaving behind the relative safety of a 9-5 job, with a regular salary guaranteed.

Character refers to that inner strength of mind and spirit that is capable of  overcoming the inevitable set-backs, disappointments and even betrayals inherent in launching any new venture. The only way to become strong is to face such challenges with a determination, love and wisdom, in the belief that you’ll find a way to go forward.

Believe in the struggle which, ultimately, is all about love and making a positive difference not only to your family, but also to the wider world. Genuine love for your loved-ones will perhaps be the greatest motivation to find your inner strength of character. Their need of you will galvanize your energy and strength of character.

Dig deep entrepreneur: uncover your inner strength

Think of the countless successful things you’ve learnt and mastered since you were a child! The great things you have already accomplished will help convince you that you are stronger than you think. Stubbornly refuse to surrender until you’ve given it everything.

Dig deep; we all have massive strength inside. That strength is obvious when a loved-one needs us in a desperate situation; we become instant heroes. Love is the bedrock of your strength and your character. We can call up those reserves of strength any time we want. As an entrepreneur, never let craven self-doubt beat you.

However even the greatest inner strength is not enough. We always need the help of a team.

Teamwork is essential

No entrepreneur succeeds on their own; teamwork and the help of others is essential. Humbly accept others’ knowledge, expertise and experience. No need to re-invent everything! No matter how gifted you are, you simply don’t have the time to be a one-man band; you’ll soon burn out and give up. Know your limits, work within your strength, and enjoy the thrill of the game.

For life itself is a game, and soon over. Then, I believe, the best is still to come. So be at peace aware of the bigger picture. Find your passion and destiny . . . and enjoy!

Gerry McCann  – The Merry Monk

@themerry_monk

It’s fear, isn’t it?

• Fear that you’ll make a fool of yourself
• Fear that you’ll forget your words
• Fear that you won’t be able to control your nerves

Do you feel like that?

I did, I used to dread getting up in public; it made me feel physically sick. I was comfortable doing a workshop for a small group, or speaking to people one-to-one; but put me in front of a big crowd, and I would be a nervous wreck. My heart would be pounding so hard and loud that I imagined people could hear it all around the room. My hands would shake, and I’d go bright red with embarrassment. That’s one of the reasons I joined a speaking group, to help overcome my nerves. Since then I’ve learnt to overcome my fears, and feel far more comfortable and confident about speaking in public. I still get nervous, but they no longer control me.

Have you ever had any fear about public speaking? Well, if you have then fear no more.

I’m going to share 3 easy steps, that I learnt, that helped me to overcome fear and feel far more confident.

1. Speak about what you know
2. Plan and prepare
3. Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse

Do all these things, and you can overcome fear and feel far more confident.

1  Speak about what you know

When we’re talking with our friends, family, colleagues and customers we very rarely dry up or get anxious. In fact, it’s often quite the opposite: we feel very comfortable and confident.  Why is that?

It’s usually because you’re talking about:

• What you know
• What you’re interested in
• What you’re passionate about

So when you speak in public, if you talk about what you know using your own experiences, examples or stories, you will feel far more comfortable.  This will help you to overcome fear and feel far more confident.

 2  Plan and prepare

We all want to feel more confident – none of us want to dry up, and forget where we’re going with the speech. One of the ways to stop this from happening is to plan and prepare your talk.  It’s a bit like going on a journey: you wouldn’t go on a long  journey to a meeting, say from New York to London, without planning the route. You’d find out the best way to get there, what transport to use and how long it would take. Most of us would check all this out before leaving for our destination. That’s just how you should treat your speech.

Once you decide what you’re going to talk about, you need to decide where you want to go with the talk. What journey you want to take your audience on. Youe need to map out your talk. This will help you to get to know the route and structure so well that you won’t get lost:

• The Introduction: this is the start of your audience’s journey
• The main body of the talk, usually split into 3/4 main points: this is the route you take them on
• The conclusion: the final destination, they know they have arrived and the speech has ended

At university one of my tutors once gave me this great piece of advice: when writing or speaking we need to remember this very simple formula

1. Introduction  = You tell them what you’re going to tell them
2. Main Body  = You tell them
3. Conclusion   = You tell them what you told them

You can’t do this if you don’t plan and prepare. If you map out the journey, and set the route, it helps you to stay on track; your audience will know where you’re going. That helps them understand what you’re talking about. When you know the structure you feel more in control, less anxious about forgetting what comes next. This all helps you to overcome fear and feel far more confident.

3  Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse

If you want to feel more confident about delivering your speech, you need to be like an actor and learn your part. You may be thinking, “That’s too difficult”,  “I could never do that”. But just remember: how did you learn your times tables or Alphabet?

We learnt them through repetition, didn’t we?

There are many ways to rehearse, and learn your speech:

1. Some people practise by reading their speech over and over again until they can remember the words.
2. Others record themselves saying the speech, then listen to themselves.
3. People often get a friend or partner to video them on their phone or tablet. Then watch, and see how they look, as well as how they sound.
4. I practise in front of my husband until I get comfortable with my speech; he helps by encouraging and giving me positive feedback. This helps me only learn the speech, but to tinker with it, and change it for the better.
5. Be like a ballet dancer and practise in front of a mirror. Not only will you hear what you sound like, you can see what your body language looks like to the audience.
6. Close your eyes and practise visualising yourself doing the speech all the way through, like a professional. Imagine yourself feeling really confident, enjoying the feeling of the audience giving you a rapturous response. Use your mind and body together, allowing your imagination and creativity to enhance the picture. Let yourself feel what it’s like to hear the audience applaud.  Just think 3D, HD and surround sound. The louder, the bigger, the brighter, the better. Doing this exercise, several times every day up to your speech, will work wonders.
7. You can also practise breathing in while saying re, and when breathing out say lax to control your nerves (re-lax). There are lots of videos and articles on the web that cover this in far more depth. Just find out which one works best for you.

Now you have reached your final destination; you can clearly see the route you need to take, if you want to overcome your fear. All you have to do is to remember to:

1. Speak about what you know
2. Plan and prepare
3. Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse – relentlessly!

Take these 3 easy steps, and you will feel far more confident.

Susan McCann

@susanjmccann