Do you ever find yourself re-living past mistakes? You know, something didn’t quite work out. You know and recognise that it’s your fault. So you keep on beating up on yourself.

You spend valuable time today re-living the past. Going over and over it in your mind.

“You idiot,” your mind shouts at you,”what possessed you to do that?”

I’ve found that it can even disturb your sleep. You find yourself lying awake in the middle of the night, playing it over and over in your mind, like a broken record.

So, how can you stop that little voice in your brain, pestering you day and night?

Today

Simple. Move on. It’s happened. It can’t UN-happen. Get on with today’s tasks.

However, maybe easier said than done.

I think one way to conquer this little gremlin is to learn from what happened.

First of all tell yourself, “O.K. I screwed up! Fair enough. No-one’s perfect. My job now is to LEARN from my mistake.”

Just let your logic and reason calm down your emotions. As we know, there’s always a hiden gem in every mistake. That’s the wonderful thing about it. You learn something new and important.

Just think of classic examples, like Edison and his light bulb. How many times did he find something that didn’t work? Hundreds! He never got depressed, moping about, beating up on himself every time it didn’t work.

He just moved on.

“O.K. That didn’t work. What else can I try?”

Little disagreements

I find that this “moving on” helps even in trivial little, day-to-day matters. My wife and I are debating about some issue. We disagree. We make our points firmly. Sometimes we feel so strongly about our point of view that we start to argue. We both hate arguing. I often say, trying to close down the arguing, “O.K. That’s history. Let’s agree to disagree, for the moment. Let’s move on.” And we do.

Even a minute ago can be seen as “history”! What’s been said’s been said. “Fine, let’s not waste any more time, energy and love repeating our own point of view.”

As Dan Millman points out in the quote, we waste energy keeping on and on about the past. We often experience that too, don’t we? We can feel a bit worn out after such a discussion.

Tomorrow

Much better to devote your remaining energy to creating something new, beautiful and useful. I’m reminded of the biblical saying, “Let the dead bury their dead.”

The past is dead and gone. Learn from it, yes. But then move on, and devote all your energy to today and tomorrow.

Yesterday’s already fading into the past. Next year, you won’t even remember it.

Why play around in the ashes of yesterday, when you can be creating the fire of tomorrow?

Gerry McCann

@themerry_monk

P.S  Feel free to share this Quote with a friend.

Want to find inventive ways on how to amuse your kids, impress your partner, entertain your friends – but are running out of ideas?

Are you a student, writer, or blogger, and struggling to come up with what to write about, what topics to choose, that you can make a real difference with?

When you have free time, and your loved-one asks “what would you like to do today?”, do you look at them, and say, “I’m not sure; what would you like to do?”

Or do you just do the same old things, go to the same old places you usually do?

Well, you’re not alone in running out of ideas, not being able to decide what to do. Most of us, at some point or other, come across this problem.

There is an easy solution that you can use; one that will get your brain working overtime – without any hard effort on your part.

It’s a game called “what if you could . . . ?”

A fun game to play

You ask yourself  “what if I could do anything?”

What could you do, enjoy, have, experience or create?

You play it by making up lists. You write those lists in your list book, or file on your computer, tablet or phone. You can do them anywhere, any time, and make them however long or short you want. You can add to them, build them over time, or just keep making new ones.

I’m a great believer in lists: not lists that rule your everyday life, to be bound by an “I must do today” stick. However, lists can be useful when you need to focus on important deadlines. Yet this game is not about deadlines or goal setting. No, for me this game is about having fun.

Lists expand your thinking, help your imagination and creativity

If you spend a few minutes each day playing this game, you’ll soon discover the fun you can have with it, and love making your lists.

Your subconcious will love you for it, because you have given it more possibilities to work on: you’ll expand your thinking. You’ll lift your spirit, through feeling the enjoyment of experiencing them while you’re writing them, or re-reading them.

Your imagination will come to life, using its power to visualise what it would be like to do, or experience, some of things on your list. The more you allow your senses to feel these, the better you will enjoy making the lists.

For example: imagine your favourite food. See it now, in your mind’s eye. Watch it being prepared by your favourite chef. Listen to the sound of it cooking or sizzling on the plate. Smell the delicious fragrant aroma, notice the vibrant colour and shape of it.

How juicy, succulent and delicious it is; feel each mouthful, as you slowly bite into it. Notice the taste in your mouth as you chew each bite. Is it smoothe, sweet, creamy and buttery, or is it sharp, spicy, crispy or flaky? How yummy does it taste?

Enjoy imagining similar experiences, as you write your lists.

Fill your mind with new possibilities

I love using lists to get my creativity working, to help fill my mind with possibilities. I use lists to develop my imagination, get me thinking about a new project, a DIY job, things I’d like to learn to do, or places I want to visit.

Lists are like brainstorming ideas but, if you write them down in a notebook or journal, they will be there anytime in the future, to look over and think about.

Life changes in so many ways; what you might want or dream of doing today, may not be what you want next year, or even 5 years from now. That’s why lists are so much fun; you can make up as many new ones as you like, about anything you want.

Lists are also a useful way of asking yourself questions about how important those things are for you.

They help you to create new dreams, and make new decisions, about what you want to do. Lists help you to open up your mind to new things to think about.

Warning! Lists can become addictive

Why not make a new list every day just for fun, about anything you want? Or revisit old lists, and see how much of them have been ticked off, one way or another, in your life?

Don’t just make a bucket list of things you want to do before you die. Make others about food you want to try, books you want to read, music, films, theatre, sports, hobbies, restaurants, places to visit. List anything you want to spend more time on, or experience.

Allow the sensations of all your senses to come alive with each and every item you put on your lists. Imagine what it will be like. Let the experience of enjoying them become real in your mind.

Imagine yourself on that beach, or going to a concert, cinema, theatre, or socialising with friends. In short, don’t just wait to do these things to enjoy them. Make sure you enjoy just thinking about them while writing your list.

Get into the habit of doing this daily: while traveling, or enjoying a cuppa, or hanging around in a waiting room – in short, any time you have a few spare minutes. You will soon find that this fun habit becomes quite addictive.

It’s the one addiction that is good for you. You will improve your creativity, imagination and thinking daily; all, while having lots of fun.

Enjoy

Susan J. McCann

@susanjmccann

If you like this post please feel free to share it out. Many Thanks

PS Please tell us how you use lists, and the benefits you found from making them, in the comments below.

All genuine success in life is based on being true to ourselves. Living fully who and what we are.

In so much of your upbringing in today’s society, you’re taught to conform to a thousand other demands. You’re taught to fear being different from others.

Conformity is the mother of lifelong boredom. Crushing your creativity, your love of life, your very soul. Because it dumbs down your spirit, your zest for the life you want.

We simply need to dig deep, find a little courage to step out of the rut. We were designed to be unique and beautiful as we are. No need to mimic others.

Fear imprisons our very real passions, ambitions, dreams. Even daring to speak of them and you’re likely to receive a barrage of negative put-downs.

“You, do that? You must be joking.”

“You’ll never make a living doing that, only a handful of people manage that.”

“Forget it, you’d be better off getting a steady job.”

Recognize any of these type of put-downs? Well meaning comments, but devastatingly negative to our ambitions, dreams, passions.

Hey! Wake up.

Time flies.

You live only once.

Better to have gone for it, whatever the outcome. There’s a thrill, a joy, a delight in trying out new and exciting things.

Whether you “succeed” or not is secondary. True success is not in the result, but in the journey, the living, the process.

Authentic success is living in your own way. I’m not talking about selfishness. I’m talking about not letting other people dictate your life. Just discover and live your deepest and best self.

Simply have the courage to step out, each moment, and enjoy whatever is there. There’s magic everywhere. Open your eyes. Heaven is all around you in the wonders of nature.

It reminds me of the saying “work to live, don’t live to work.”  Letting the necessity of work and money dominate our whole life is madness. I’m not suggesting ditching your job, not supporting yourself, or your family. However, making a living doing what you love makes far more sense.

Why sacrifice the best years of your life slaving away? “You can’t take it with you.” Death awaits us all. Enjoy life to the full, right from day one.

Remember: success is in the wonder of each day, each moment. Lift your nose from the grindstone of life. As they say, “stop and smell the flowers.” 

You were never designed by your Creator to be a robot!

May I wish you true success in life.

Gerry McCann

@themerry_monk

P.S. Maybe you’d like to share this little quote with a friend. Feel free to leave a comment.  I’d love to hear from you. Thanks.

I can really understand where you’re coming from. I’ve been there myself in the past, and still find it a challenge.

We all have problems with self-belief and confidence, don’t we? It seems that other people recognise our talents even if we can’t.

That’s why I also believe in you. I know we all have unique gifts; you, me and everyone in their own way. Our gifts are needed. We just need more belief.

There are so many people out there who need exactly what you have to share.

You’re already sharing your gifts with family and friends.

Life moves on, every day new opportunities can arise. O.K., I know you can’t help everybody. But you can definitely help some.

Let’s discover more self-belief, be a lttle braver. You can step out and share your love, your kindness, your help with a few other people.

We’re made for love and sharing. That’s the meaning of life. We’re all different.

That’s why you have something unique to share, something that others need. Try to be even more generous with your time, your love, your gifts.

A number of people in your world are waiting for you. Give them some love.

Blessings, Love and Peace to you and yours.

Gerry McCann

@themerry_monk

PS  If you like this quote please feel free to share it.

Strange, weird and wonderful success theories abound. They attempt to fulfill our human desire for success.

However, many of these theories are very uncertain; perhaps more an appeal to luck than sound strategy.

Yes, of course, it’s great to want to succeed. But why believe in Lady Luck?

That’s like believing in magic: the result we want just “happens,” without any cause!

Like kids’ fairy tales, or happy ever after fiction stories.

Yes, It’s great to want success. But how do we achieve it? One, of many key elements, is having a work ethic.

Yes. Get smart, work hard, and keep improving.

Yet that can be a major problem, the very last thing we want to hear. Why? Because we hate “hard work.” The very word hard  can put us off straight away. “I don’t do HARD.”

We cry out in pain, “surely there must be an easier way!”

I’m afraid life’s not magic. Let’s be adults about this. We pay the price in the shop for everything we buy. Yet we baulk at the thought of paying the price for our success in life. The illusion of something for nothing.

The good news? There’s an immense satisfaction, happiness and peace in knowing we’ve done our best. Often your friends will support you, and tell you, “good job!”  And they’re right.

In all walks of life, people succeed by putting in the effort. Parents raising kids, sportsmen and women winning their events, students passing exams. The list goes on.

That is real success.

The grindstone creates beauty from chunks of metal. You can achieve your own beauty too.

Seek the grindstone of life. Don’t be so afraid. You can do it! Hard work brings its own massive rewards. Laziness destroys all it touches. You choose.

Always remember:

the rich benefits of the grindstone of life far outweigh the efforts you’ve made.

Why not witness your own “trail of sparks”, and prosper.

Blessings and Peace to you and yours

Gerry McCann

@themerry_monk

PS  If you like this quote please feel free to share it

Hundreds of people are standing in their bare feet. We’re in Cardiff, Wales, UK. It’s evening, and dark. The year: 1999. We’re lined up in many rows. Facing us: rows of brightly shining coals of fire. These glowing, growling rows are perhaps 20 yards long.

The occasion? I’m lined up to experience the famous Tony Robbins “Fire Walk.” It’s Friday, the first evening of his awesome personal development seminar.

I reach the front of the line. Deep breath, shoulders back, look straight ahead, walk at a steady pace. Don’t try to run. Off we go, one after the other. I’m really scared, but I summon up all my courage and step into the unknown. I believe I can do this.

At the end of the row, I fall into the arms of a helper. He checks my feet, water at the ready. He makes sure there are no fragments of hot coal trapped between my toes. Relief. I’m OK.

I breath again. Wow! A once-in-a-lifetime experience. I can hardly believe it. My feet aren’t burned. It doesn’t hurt. I can’t really understand why. Maybe because I didn’t pause, and give the fire time to burn me.

(By the way, please do not try this at home!  Our fire walk was professionally managed for safety. I do not in any way recommend you to experiment with fire)

We learned a lot

What was the point of all this? Give us a thrill? Teach us something? Experience a new challenge?

It was a master class in showing us how to overcome limiting beliefs.

If we can overcome a seemingly impossible physical challenge, then how much more power is inside us to overcome doubts and fears in the mind?

Countless books have been written on the power of thinking. Many personal development classics drive home this simple lesson: it’s our thoughts and beliefs that determine our life.

What’s your take on this?

You deserve to be great

Fears and doubts haunt us all, don’t they? To what extent can your belief fill you with power, and compel you to fulfill your deepest desires? Overcome your terrifying fears?

What are some important things in your life? Things you’d like to do, goals you’d like to achieve. What haven’t you done yet? What should you do that you haven’t. Deep down, you know.

Maybe you’re afraid. But fear is just a thought, a belief in your mind. Why treat it like burning coals? If we can walk on fire, then surely we can tackle limiting beliefs. They’re just in your mind. And that’s good news. Why?

You control your own mind. You can change your mind. You have the power of choice. You’re “Master of your Fate, Captain of your Ship.”

Remember: life moves on, relentlessly. Don’t die with your music still inside. No regrets. At the very least give it a try. If you fail, so what? At the very least you had a go. On the other hand, you might just surprise yourself and achieve your own greatness.

No regrets. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be. Or maybe it was, and you just need to persevere and keep on trying. “If at first you don’t succeed . . .”

Near journey’s end

I’ll be 80 this year. I’ve been through all this a thousand times. I’m still trying. Still moving. Haven’t given up.

I look back on my long life; I’m very happy to know that I went for it. Yes, I know. I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs. Challenges and problems. Success and Failure. I just got back on my feet. I soldiered on. I overcame whatever was thrown at me. I won through.

I succeeded because I never gave up on life.

What will you feel when you’re 80?

Make sure you feel that you pushed on and had a go. Often “success” is not important. What is important is to try your best, “win” or “lose” in the opinion of others.

You write your own epitaph.

“You did it your way.”

Gerry McCann The Merry Monk

@themerry_monk

Mindful Minutes with the Merry Monk

12: Is It Important To Be A Winner?

Thanks for listening. Let’s all continue to help make this world a better place.

Gerry McCann

The Merry Monk

Nobody at all, with an ounce of common sense, is going to believe, trust or invest time, money, and effort in a loser. Make no mistake.

If you have little or no self-belief then – rightly or wrongly – you will be perceived, and treated, as a loser. No-one, unless they’re stupid, bets on a known loser. Ask any venture capitalist.

Successful investors always look for passionate, hardworking people who have enough self-belief to set out, and forge ahead on their own. Brave people, who risk their time and money in providing a new product or service for the benefit of others. It’s a ‘no-brainer’ – self-belief is an essential quality of spirit for entrepreneurs.

It’s also a quality, in fact, that we all need. A quality that’s truly needed, always and in everything: business, relationships, life, love, the lot. Without self-belief, we’ll sabotage our ability to work successfully with others. But that’s not all: we will also self-sabotage.

Your Self-belief is the Key to Your Success

“Anyone can do it”

If you lack self-belief, all your ambitions, aspirations and dreams will collapse. They’ll dissolve, and vanish . . . in a sea of doubt. Self-belief is absolutely crucial. Why?

Without essential self-belief, you won’t follow through. On anything.  A business mentor’s hardest job is to convince clients they can be successful. “Anyone can do it,” they suggest.

Yet we rebel at the thought. We build walls to defend our mediocrity. We cling relentlessly to the lie:

“I can’t do it; I’m a nobody.”

Often our negative conditioning in life has convinced us of this debilitating illusion.

You know you have the power – yet you just don’t believe it. Everything happens in strict accordance with how much we believe. Believe you can, and you can. Believe you can’t, and you can’t.

Your Self-belief is the Key to Your Success

Your special talents

The first step in achieving greater self-belief?

Recognize your own personal value and dignity. Deep down you know you have the unique gifts and talents you need.

You find that hard to believe?

You just need to think, for a moment, of all the many successful entrepreneurs, who perhaps have far fewer talents and gifts, in their niche, than you have in yours. Tell yourself the good news,

“If they can do it, then so could I. What’s stopping me?”

The reason they’re successful is that they went for it, they believed they could.

So? Forget the lies you’ve heard all your life, telling you

“Who do you think you are?”

” What do you know about running a business”?

“You’ll never make it!”

The power of self-belief is within us all, and at our command. We just need to discover it, believe it, and then use it.

Just remember that self-belief is not all or nothing: something we either have or don’t have, like a physical object. Self-belief and self-doubt are qualities of mind and spirit, rather than anything material. Therefore it’s a question of the degree, or level – how much or how little – we have of that quality.

A down-to-earth quality of mind

So, how much self-belief do you have? As with most things in life, the ideal outcome is a balance between the extremes. Neither “I can achieve absolutely anything” nor “I am quite useless, and can’t do anything worthwhile.”

We seek the golden middle way. Neither unrealistic optimism, nor a pathetic learned helplessness. A balanced middle view is the ideal; that would actually be more optimistic than most of us imagine.

So, what’s needed?

Realistic, down-to-earth, solidly grounded optimism! That’s a crucial factor that separates the high achievers from those who settle for mediocrity.

High achievers are so optimistic because they believe that with hard work, determination, perseverance, and creativity, huge success is possible. They’ve proved it, over and over again.

Even when things don’t work out, they remain optimistic. We all know stories of world-famous entrepreneurs who’ve failed more times than they’ve succeeded. But they persevered. They never gave up. They just learned another lesson, dug their heels in, and dived right in again.

Your Self-belief is the Key to Your Success

Most successful entrepreneurs really are ordinary people, much the same as you and me. They only difference is they had the belief, optimism and courage to simply go for it; and then persevere.

They know, better than most, that we all have massive abilities, which often go unrecognized. Such abilities can even be improved. We can all learn a wide range of skills, and so create a greatly enhanced and enriching life-style.

You need to find that belief and courage. You can then fashion a much better life for yourself and your loved-ones.

So . . . how? How do you find this self-belief and courage?

Success notebook

The first place to look is your past triumphs, your own track record. Trust your own experience. It gives you solid, concrete evidence that you can succeed in many things.

I am convinced it’s a brilliant idea to make a list of your greatest achievements up to date. So motivational! Buy a huge notebook, and use it just for this purpose. That list will be your very own self-belief manual.

Even better, add photos and gather physical evidence of past glories. For example dig out certificates, medals, prizes, rewards you’ve earned in the past – a veritable golden treasure chest of memories.

That was YOU, not anyone else.

Think too about the countless ordinary, everyday things you’ve learned and now take for granted. Everything you needed to learn and achieve to grow up into a well-rounded, and competent adult.

Again, that was YOU, not anyone else.

What an inspiring exercise, because that winner you’re looking at is a younger you. You’re still the same person, with even more experience. Why doubt now when you’ve already proved you can do it?

The next step is to add to this list regularly, as you recall other past successes. Look at these successes frequently. This will help continue building your confidence and self-belief.

Another powerful step: begin to jot down new and up-to-date successes. Increasingly, you will be looking forward to future successes and further entries in your self-belief manual, your “success journal,” as some call it.

Whenever you doubt, latch on to those powerful memories. Clear proof that you already succeeded in so many challenges. When you’re afraid and doubt yourself, remember the great things you’ve already achieved.

Maybe you disagree. You may be thinking,

“I’ve never really done anything great. It couldn’t work for me!”

I’m not talking about extraordinary things, like winning Olympic gold. You’ve a ton of experience and learning in everyday things we take for granted.

A toddler programmed to be a winner

Learn from yourself as a toddler. Let’s focus on one simple example. You learned to walk. Remember how?

It was a relentless, in-built drive. You never gave up. Day in, day out, you tried. Day in, day out, you made imperceptible progress. Day in, day out, you kept falling over. However, you just kept on getting back up again. It never entered you’re little mind to think,

“That’s it! I’ve had it! I’ve tried over and over. It’s not working. I’ll never be able to walk. Might as well settle for crawling!”

Think of what you did then, how you simply refused to surrender. I’m still talking about YOU, not some famous person. You too have succeeded in so many things. Use your imagination.

See yourself again in that situation. Feel again how you felt then. Picture it in detail in your own mind. Bring that power and feeling back into the now. It felt so good, didn’t it?

You were able to summon up your self-belief, and you succeeded. You proved you could do it, and you can do it again and again. Always focus on your successes.

What about all my failures?

Don’t worry about the past failures. They don’t mean you yourself are a failure, as a person. Keep it simple.

So-called “failure” is nothing more than a result of some action. You tried something, and it didn’t work out. No big deal. Just learn a better way. Rejoice in this positive “learning from your mistakes.”

Let me repeat: focus on your successes. You’re building your self-belief, not putting yourself down; no point in filling your mind with the times when things didn’t quite work out.

Use your success diary to note and remember all your successes. Keep adding to it, you’ll soon see that you have a lot more to inspire you.

Your Self-belief is the Key to Your Success

Lastly, one final and extremely important point: create a little team of positive people around you. As a group, you will supercharge the self-belief of each other. You will feed off each other’s energy, belief and wisdom.

Self-belief will go through the roof.

Your success is there for the taking. You deserve it. You know you deserve it. Take it. It’s yours.

Gerry McCann

@themerry_monk