Do you feel you have much more to offer? Do you feel that life is passing you by? Do you want to do more in your life, live life to the full?

What would you say if you were told you’re not just the product of circumstance? That you do have a choice, that those choices have helped make you who you are, and what you have done up to now.

Are you thinking,

“What me, you must be joking? If I had a choice it would be quite different” 

Put away those pitiful, power-leaching thoughts; because you do have a choice to be the person you want to be. You are what you make yourself.

You could be . . . the person you want to be.

You know that the person, deep down inside of you, knows this is true. That part of you that knows who you could be, who you want to be, who you’re meant to be.

Each one of us is the sum of what we alone have decided, or allowed ourselves to be. Once we reach adulthood, we have the opportunity to choose the kind of life we want, the type of person we want to be. Who we want to spend time with, surround ourselves with.

We make daily choices about hundreds of actions, and decisions we make. We alone decide what type of food we enjoy, what music we like, colours we prefer, who we spend our leisure time with.

You alone have the freedom to change who you are, and what you do, every single day.

“Well, Susan, I didn’t choose my life, my parents. my circumstances. So how can you say it’s my choice?”

I agree, we had very little choice as a child. As adults, we’re often already bound on paths we don’t want. But don’t let that stop you from choosing what you want to do, or be, or changing your course. Let go of that past mindset, those beliefs, excuses and boundaries you may have set up for yourself, or feel tied into.

The chains, of limiting thoughts, that had hold you a prisoner of perceived circumstance and choice. I know it’s not easy to admit. I often felt I had no choice, but I did; maybe not the choices I would have preferred, but I still had them. Once this was revealed to me, I realised I had real power; I was no longer a victim to lame limitations.

We cannot change what life throws at us, or what other people do, or say. However, we can change how we act, think and feel about our own life.

We can decide how we will live our own lives, and what we can make of ourselves.

I want to share with you 7 good reasons why you have the power to be the authentic you.

1. Only you have the right gifts to live your life.  You’re unique; you must develop those gifts, for they give your life meaning. Hone your gifts, every single day, so that they can be used to help others; this is how you can make a difference.
2. Only you can build your confidence and self-respect. Don’t search for these from other people; you must find these yourself. You can earn confidence and self-respect by trusting yourself to do what you set out to do. By learning to have faith in yourself. By believing you are of value.
3. Only you are responsible for your thoughts and actions. Not your parents, not your loved-ones, not your teachers, not your peers. Your thoughts and actions are your job, your responsibility.
4. Only you have the power to motivate yourself, to dig deep and discover the reason (whatever it is) you need to focus on, to keep going when life’s hard.
5. Only you can do the work, or take the steps that you need to take, towards your dream.
6. Only you can make or break you. Nobody else has the power to control your mind, unless you allow them to.
7. Only you have the right to decide what you want to do in life. This is your freedom: it’s why you have free will. Never enslave yourself to someone else’s will. Don’t live someone else’s agenda. Decide for yourself.

You know, deep down inside your heart, what’s right for you. You deserve to be the person you want to be. You can decide today – right now – to build the right life for you.  It’s never too late to change your course. While you’re still alive and breathing, you still have time to go for your dreams.

You have 7 good reasons why I think you can be the person you want to be. I ask you to think about them. Look for your own reasons, and add to them every day.

Continue to strive doggedly to be the person you want to be. Never give up on yourself. You are here for a purpose. That purpose is to live your life to the full, to bring love, joy, peace and happiness to those around you.

In doing so, you will fulfill your life, and the life of others. That is the person you are meant to be, the person you are deep in your heart.

Be that person and live your life to the full.

Susan J McCann

@susanjmccann

PS I’d love to hear what motivates you. Please feel free to share this post.

Want to find inventive ways on how to amuse your kids, impress your partner, entertain your friends – but are running out of ideas?

Are you a student, writer, or blogger, and struggling to come up with what to write about, what topics to choose, that you can make a real difference with?

When you have free time, and your loved-one asks “what would you like to do today?”, do you look at them, and say, “I’m not sure; what would you like to do?”

Or do you just do the same old things, go to the same old places you usually do?

Well, you’re not alone in running out of ideas, not being able to decide what to do. Most of us, at some point or other, come across this problem.

There is an easy solution that you can use; one that will get your brain working overtime – without any hard effort on your part.

It’s a game called “what if you could . . . ?”

A fun game to play

You ask yourself  “what if I could do anything?”

What could you do, enjoy, have, experience or create?

You play it by making up lists. You write those lists in your list book, or file on your computer, tablet or phone. You can do them anywhere, any time, and make them however long or short you want. You can add to them, build them over time, or just keep making new ones.

I’m a great believer in lists: not lists that rule your everyday life, to be bound by an “I must do today” stick. However, lists can be useful when you need to focus on important deadlines. Yet this game is not about deadlines or goal setting. No, for me this game is about having fun.

Lists expand your thinking, help your imagination and creativity

If you spend a few minutes each day playing this game, you’ll soon discover the fun you can have with it, and love making your lists.

Your subconcious will love you for it, because you have given it more possibilities to work on: you’ll expand your thinking. You’ll lift your spirit, through feeling the enjoyment of experiencing them while you’re writing them, or re-reading them.

Your imagination will come to life, using its power to visualise what it would be like to do, or experience, some of things on your list. The more you allow your senses to feel these, the better you will enjoy making the lists.

For example: imagine your favourite food. See it now, in your mind’s eye. Watch it being prepared by your favourite chef. Listen to the sound of it cooking or sizzling on the plate. Smell the delicious fragrant aroma, notice the vibrant colour and shape of it.

How juicy, succulent and delicious it is; feel each mouthful, as you slowly bite into it. Notice the taste in your mouth as you chew each bite. Is it smoothe, sweet, creamy and buttery, or is it sharp, spicy, crispy or flaky? How yummy does it taste?

Enjoy imagining similar experiences, as you write your lists.

Fill your mind with new possibilities

I love using lists to get my creativity working, to help fill my mind with possibilities. I use lists to develop my imagination, get me thinking about a new project, a DIY job, things I’d like to learn to do, or places I want to visit.

Lists are like brainstorming ideas but, if you write them down in a notebook or journal, they will be there anytime in the future, to look over and think about.

Life changes in so many ways; what you might want or dream of doing today, may not be what you want next year, or even 5 years from now. That’s why lists are so much fun; you can make up as many new ones as you like, about anything you want.

Lists are also a useful way of asking yourself questions about how important those things are for you.

They help you to create new dreams, and make new decisions, about what you want to do. Lists help you to open up your mind to new things to think about.

Warning! Lists can become addictive

Why not make a new list every day just for fun, about anything you want? Or revisit old lists, and see how much of them have been ticked off, one way or another, in your life?

Don’t just make a bucket list of things you want to do before you die. Make others about food you want to try, books you want to read, music, films, theatre, sports, hobbies, restaurants, places to visit. List anything you want to spend more time on, or experience.

Allow the sensations of all your senses to come alive with each and every item you put on your lists. Imagine what it will be like. Let the experience of enjoying them become real in your mind.

Imagine yourself on that beach, or going to a concert, cinema, theatre, or socialising with friends. In short, don’t just wait to do these things to enjoy them. Make sure you enjoy just thinking about them while writing your list.

Get into the habit of doing this daily: while traveling, or enjoying a cuppa, or hanging around in a waiting room – in short, any time you have a few spare minutes. You will soon find that this fun habit becomes quite addictive.

It’s the one addiction that is good for you. You will improve your creativity, imagination and thinking daily; all, while having lots of fun.

Enjoy

Susan J. McCann

@susanjmccann

If you like this post please feel free to share it out. Many Thanks

PS Please tell us how you use lists, and the benefits you found from making them, in the comments below.

Fed up with feeling that sometimes life is just not going the way you want it to?

Do you ever get frustrated with how some things are in your life?

Do you feel that you deserve more?

Have you ever asked yourself, ” Do I feel bad about any of these?”:

Your relationships, your work, your lack of opportunities, the way you look, the way you feel when things seem to go wrong in your life.

Do you sometimes feel cross, upset, dejected, lethargic, or feel that life’s not fair?

Use your negative thoughts and emotions

Well, how would you like to learn a simple technique, that could help you think and feel differently?

How would you like to use those same negative thoughts to help you?

Instead of allowing negative emotions to hijack your thinking, decide to change your thoughts by asking yourself,

“What can I learn from this?”

“Can these negative thoughts, and emotions, help me to recognize what I do want?”

For example, take something that most of us suffer from, at some point in our lives, “Body Image.”

We often get frustrated at, or even hate, the way we look:

Out of shape, spotty skin, discolored teeth, rotting teeth, bags under our eyes, double chin, beer belly, haggard appearance, too fat, too thin . . . (just fill in the blanks).

When we feel like this, we often carry on feeding this pain or guilt, with more of the same. Recognize any of these?

Not exercising enough.

Eating the wrong foods.

Overeating.

Not eating enough.

Drinking too much.

Drinking too many sugared drinks.

Using or taking harmful substances.

Not getting enough rest or sleep.

Not caring for our skin, teeth, feet, nails, hair.

Stressing about it.

Instead of resorting to old negative habits and behavior, ask yourself:

“What are these negative thoughts and emotions helping me to recognize?”

Are they signals, that the body is sending to you?

Are they showing you that you are no longer happy to put up with how they make you feel?

Are they heartfelt pointers, reminding you that you deserve to love the way you look?

That you want to change your behavior, your habits, your thinking?

What are they telling you?

Once you start changing the way you look at negative thoughts and emotions, you’ll begin to recognize that they are helping you to understand what you really do want.

Think about it for the next few minutes. Whenever we feel negative emotions about something, it usually points out to us what we truly want:

• A less stressful job
• Less stressful life
• A better relationship with our partner, parents, children, peers
• More balance in our lives
• Healthier body
• A healthier lifestyle
• More fun in our lives
• A purpose in life
• Spending time with loved ones, friends and on ourselves

Make a mental list of all the things that negative emotions are pointing out to you, showing you, and screaming out to you.

Take time to think.

What they are spelling out to you, loud and clear?

I think you’ll agree that they are letting you know what you want instead.

The positive things you really want in your life, instead of the negative things you are already experiencing, or thinking, or worrying about.

Sounds obvious doesn’t it?

But how many of us actually take any notice, and really admit what we do want — what we want enough to change our thinking, our behavior, our habits?

Be honest now, how often do you really take notice?

No more excuses, such as, “I’m too tired, I haven’t got time, I’ve no choice, I’m just not that type of person, I can’t help who I am, I just can’t do it.”

Empower Yourself

If you truly what to empower yourself to be stronger, more positive, more energized, tap into your inner power, then make that list.

What are some of things on your list?

Which of them are the most important to you?

Then allow yourself to think about all the positive things that you do truly want. Think about how having, being or doing these will have a positive impact on your life. Think how you feel about having and experiencing them.

Allow your creative imagination to paint a picture, in as much detail as you can, of what your life will be like once you have them.

Practice this often, make a game of it. Once you make a habit of this, you will begin to fill in the details. You’ll start to feel all the positive emotions that life has to offer you. The more creative you are, the more detail you’ll fill in. Like painting a portrait, building a jigsaw, designing a room.

You are the writer and director of your own movie: you direct the actors, the scene, the dialogue. You have free rein on whatever you want it to be, or to change what happens. You can enjoy all the excitement, happiness, satisfaction, peace, love, fulfillment and feel-good moments of sheer pleasure of having that life.

OK, OK; I can hear you saying, “Yeah, that’s just a pipe dream; it’s never going to happen.”

Daydreaming positive emotions is good for the soul

So, what if it doesn’t happen? You’re still experiencing those positive emotions. It can improve your creative mental ability. It’s a stress buster, it can give you endless moments of joy, happiness, peace, contentment or just sheer fun; and, all for free.

Just like when you’re asleep, enjoying a really great dream, or a horrible nightmare: you still get the same emotions of fear, worry, excitement, happiness, etc., while you’re asleep and only dreaming. The mind processes all your real life events, dreams, and thoughts in a similar way, affecting your nervous system, your body and your emotions.

Some people even thrash about in their sleep, fighting off imagined demons. Sleep walkers are acting out their dream. I’m more than sure some of you have had similar physical experiences during, shall we say, more positive dreams.

Can you remember any dreams, that seemed so real, that you weren’t sure if you were dreaming or not? No matter what experiences you have had, why not decide what you want to day-dream about, while you’re awake.

Why wait until you’re sleeping, and have less control over your thoughts?

Have fun whenever you have a few spare minutes or more. Escape the rigors of life, the busy train commute, and take a short coffee or lunch break, enjoying the game of daydreaming. That stress-free world of make-believe. Allowing your thoughts, your imagination, your creativity to color your world with wondrous possibilities.

It’s so beneficial to you, and on so many different levels. It helps you to feel what it would be like. It improves your positivity. It gives you material to enlarge your imagination, and creative thinking. It widens your outlook on life.

It’s a form of practicing what you would do, and how you would do it; what it would be like, and how you would feel.

Above all, it helps you to focus your thinking on things that you want, instead of what you don’t want.

It’s a technique I’ve used for many years now; it’s helped me to feel good about myself. It’s helped me to cope with and overcome situations, events, fears and relationships I have had in my life. Showing me what I wanted, or needed, to be different.

Thinking about what I really wanted empowered me, and in so many ways. It fed my soul with wonderful loving emotions, instead of the dread, fear, lack, and what I didn’t have. Thinking and daydreaming about what I did want, often gave me the strength I needed to take small steps towards doing the things I really wanted, instead of the things that were negative. I’ve used it over and over again, for dealing with all sorts of relationships, events, situations in my life that cause negative emotions.

That’s why I know it works. That it can work for you. That you’ll be able to use this technique in all sorts of areas of your life, no matter what they are.

Because even when you have no control over what others do or say to you, or when you cannot control some situations in your life, you can control your own thoughts, your own thinking. You can empower yourself, by using those negative emotions to point out to you what you do want, what you need to do.

You can positively re-run that event in your head, to give it a different outcome. One that gives you strength, one that gives you courage; one that makes you believe, and feel, that you can experience what you want, instead of what you don’t want. Thinking thoughts that empower you. By focussing on what you want in your life.

As the saying goes “what you focus on is what you bring about”. So why waste your thoughts on things you don’t want? Use your negative emotions, as signals, to point instead to the positive things you do want. Fill your thoughts, and creative imagination, with what you do want. Do this as often as possible; and just enjoy.

Remember, that

What we focus on, and think about often enough, sparks our subconscious into action: it starts looking for ways of bringing these about.

Remember that in our world, nothing exists that humans have built, made, invented or acted on, without first being a thought in a person’s mind.

So have some fun, enjoy the positive energy of positive thoughts. Fill your mind, body and spirit with what the popular “Beach Boys” song would say, “Good Vibrations.”

If you haven’t heard of it, look it up on the internet. It’s a classic “feel good” upbeat song from a past generation. Click the link below to hear the song.

Susan J. McCann

@susanjmccann

If you like this post please feel free to share it out. Many Thanks

PS I’d love to hear how it works for you, or about techniques you use that have worked for you.

If so, what does make you happy?

So many of us never really sit down, and spend serious time thinking about this.

Oh yes, I agree: we may think about it for a few minutes – or the odd half-hour – reeling off lists of all the things we would buy and do, if we won the lottery. But how often have you spent an hour or two, just contemplating your own internal happiness?

I don’t mean when you’re having a bad day, and are moaning about all the lack of things you have in life. The path of misery: full of lack, unfairness or just plain unlucky things or events, that dictate your life.

Because thinking about happiness, for many of us, usually means thinking about the lack of it in our lives. Be honest now; what kind of possessions, or life style do you often think about, that you don’t have? Recognize any of these . . . ?

• The big house you don’t own
• The perfect job you haven’t got
• The perfect partner you haven’t found yet
• The fancy car you can’t afford
• Those gorgeous pair of shoes that are over your budget
• The wealth you don’t have
• The fame you haven’t yet aspired to
• The perfect good looks you wish you had
• The lack of power you exert
• No longer being young
• Not having enough money
• Not having achieved what you wanted in life
• Not being able to have what you want
• Not having control over events in your life
• Not having control of other people and their actions

Yes there are thousands of things we want, that we either don’t have, or can’t have, or will never have in our lives. So I ask you.

Why concentrate on lack? Will that make you happy?

No, of course it won’t, it’s just the opposite, you feel miserable because you don’t have these things.

Material things can only bring short bursts of pleasure; don’t mix this up with happiness

A few months ago I heard someone ask these two powerful questions:

* If you won the lottery today would this make you happy?

* If in that same night your child died would you still be happy?

When our happiness is totally dependent on external forces, material wealth or other people, then we will never be able to control our own happiness.

I’m not saying that we should cut ourselves off from the world. I’m just saying that, to hand over full control of your emotions to other people or events, is not the way to find internal happiness.

I speak from my own experience: as a child, much of my happiness was tied up with some of the above. My self worth, confidence, self-love and material happiness were dependent on – and tied up with – my parents: their behavior, love or lack of it, and how they felt about me. Material highs, when given a toy; or fleeting happiness, when being praised for doing something correct.

The down side of this were the very real lows: periods of misery, sadness and pain, when these were taken away. Real self loathing, lack of self worth, and the feeling of never being good enough. I understand only too well the need to find internal happiness, self love, self esteem and self worth.

It wasn’t until I was 15 – after spending over three months in hospital, recovering from my injuries after a suicide attempt – that I learnt to find real happiness. I learned to…

 Focus on whatever you can be grateful for in your life

I discovered this worked for me while lying in that hospital bed. One of the other patients, an older lady who was having a hip replacement used to talk to me. A wonderful wise Grandma of 3. She was the catalyst that changed the way I looked at myself. She told me I was of value, that all of us are of value. That we all have lots to give, and to be grateful for.

During those 3 months in hospital I learnt to be grateful: for being alive, for periods when the pain subsided, for when the hospital food tasted good, for the tenderness of the nurses, for the humor of the other patients, for the respite I had from my Mother, when I was able to move my leg, when I could use the toilet instead of the bed pan.

The more I focused on what I could be grateful for, the easier I found it to be grateful. That led to me feeling happier about myself and my life.

It won’t change external things, but it does change the way you look at your life – which can change your perception, and experience, of life for the better.

Because for me, true happiness is a feeling or emotion that makes you feel good inside. It’s an attitude of mind. So, focussing on everyday things with a positive attitude, and learning to feel gratitude for all the good things around you, helps you to learn to feel good and, in turn, be happier. Looking at things in a positive way can help you develop a healthier mindset.

Did this mean that my life was better after I returned home; that events in my life were now under my control? No of course not. Feeling grateful and feeling good about yourself and life does not bring about a miraculous happy ever after fairy tale ending.

But it does give you more control over your own happiness, and how you can control your own emotions. That’s what leads to your inner happiness.

Happiness is a state of mind that can be developed

Happiness is a state of mind; it’s often dependent on how we perceive the world. Why? Because this affects how we react to situations, as well as how we act in general. It affects our behavior and the way we feel about life, and other people. We cannot stop what the world throws at us, but we can control how we think and feel about it.

No one can control our thoughts and feelings, unless we allow them to. So, take control over your happiness, and learn how to find it deep within yourself. Change your mindset, and day by day you will discover an inner peace.

You can also use your faith, if you’re a believer, to help you on this journey. However, whether you’re a believer or not, take serious time out. Time to really think about all the happy moments in your life. While you ponder on these, imagine how life could be – if you learnt to be happy, about all the little insignificant things in life.

The feeling of the gentle warmth of sunlight on your face. The beauty of the sea, glistening in a froth, as the waves meet the shore. The golden autumn leaves dancing around the pavement. The sound of the cold winter wind, blowing outside the window, while you’re snuggly warm inside. The pleasure of quenching your thirst, with a long cool drink, on a hot summer day.

Learn the habit of gratitude – for all the small things in life, that we often take for granted

Start to notice the joy that focussing on these can bring.

When you focus on being grateful for as many things as you can, you often discover many more pleasures in life. Inner happiness and self love flow together: they grow your spirit; they are necessary to your well being. So it’s well worth the time to develop a happier mindset.

Keep doing this every day. Then, in a month or two, you’ll find that it becomes a daily habit, that you hardly have to think about. Then ask yourself what makes you happy. You will find that you have much more to draw upon. You will feel much better about life and about yourself.

You will start to think how you can make others happy. What you can do for others, that makes you feel good. Being happy is a journey: it keeps growing inside you, it helps you to become the person you want to be. It allows you the freedom to grow because, no matter what happens, no matter what other people do or say, you are the one who determines how you think and feel.

The true power of inner happiness

The true power of inner happiness is that you can decide to be happy or not. If someone hurts me, I may feel pain, I may be angry, I may get upset; but I can draw on my internal self for strength, to overcome those feelings, and get over the hurt, anger and sorrow. We all can – if we develop a more positive, useful mindset.

The mindset of inner happiness brings you the joyful knowledge of having plenty, a deeper sense of pleasure in what you already have, the warm feeling of fulfillment when you help others to feel happier about themselves.

So, get to work: ask yourself what you can be happy about, what you can be grateful for, and what you can do for others. Take control of your own inner happiness by developing it in yourself.

Susan J McCann

@susanjmccann

So many of us go through life not using all our skills, gifts or talents. What about you?

To what extent do you use yours? Do you hide some of your talents from the world?

Ask yourself: what gifts, skills or talents have I used, shown or shared? Have I only uncovered the tip of the iceberg? Have I got more to offer?

It’s so easy to do the things, and share the skills, you already feel really confident about; but what about all those things that you can do, yet keep quiet about?

You know deep down you have much more to give.

So why don’t you? What’s stopping you?

I just haven’t got the time, you say to yourself. I can’t do everything.

Or is it because you just don’t think your gifts are not perfect enough? Is it because you’re scared of rejection? Is it because you fear how others may judge you.

How many talented people have the guts to put themselves on the line. Are you one of them?

Suppose you’ve got the time. Time’s not the real problem here. The real problem is often simply lack of confidence.

After all, using your gifts is not always about being the best, or even making a career out of them. Using your gifts and talents should be fun, you should enjoy using them. Think back to your childhood.

What can you learn from children?

Remember how you behaved. You’d sing and dance. You’d tell stories, play games and run races. You’d draw and have fun painting. You’d do all these things without any thought if they were good or not . . . until the first time someone put you down. Even then it may have taken some time to put a damper on your activity.

Is that why you’re so self-concious; is that why we you’re so fearful not to “show yourself up”? Is it because you have learned to lack confidence? Yes, learned; after all, I’m sure most of you sang, painted, ran, told stories, played games and sport, all without any thought of whether you were any good or not. Most of you probably thought you were good, but that didn’t really matter; you were enjoying it.

Who stole your self-confidence?

Many of us have learned to lack confidence, especially if we’ve been put down, laughed at, or told we weren’t good enough. Who told us? Well, the list is endless. These are just some examples: parents, teachers, peer groups, friends, family etc. We’ve allowed our confidence to be eroded, bit by bit, in so many small ways, over so many years and in different situations.

It’s not surprising then that most of us never venture forward with skills we may have, that are not perfected, not seen as outstanding or exceptional. Just because of some sense of “not being good enough”.

You don’t have to be the best 

For example, take shows like The X Factor or The Voice. We often hear the judges say things like “Yes she can sing, but she’s just not good enough”. So, does that mean her voice can no longer give pleasure to herself or other people? Just because she won’t make a hit single, or be at the top of the charts? I’m sure the judges of these shows don’t mean to stop them singing; but how many of the contestants often feel rejected and despondant?

Maybe they won’t get a hit record or a recording deal. Is that the only way to use their talent? Lots of singers give enormous pleasure to audiences all over the world, without ever reaching the so-called “top”. How many people with good voices give up altogether, and never sing in public again? What a waste of talent.

We all need to learn to be glad of our talents, and learn to enjoy them no matter what. Lots of us have talents, in all kinds of areas of life, that we’ve locked away: just because they’re not perceived as perfect. Why allow the best be the enemy of the good?

Your talents can bring happiness to many people

Let’s all remember to be more like we were as children, and learn to enjoy life, without worrying what others think. Skills, gifts and talents are wasted if we don’t use them to help people, or bring happiness or enjoyment to ourselves and others.

So challenge yourself to share your talents and stop hiding them. Learn to let go of worrying about not being perfect; none of us are. We only have to venture out of our hiding places, and give it a go.

A gift is meant to be given; share them with someone you trust, or you know will benefit from your help. Skills never improve without practice, and talents are meant to enrich your life.

You know, deep down, you have much more to offer. Don’t let the tyranny of perfection or being the best imprison your talents.

Come out of hiding. Make others happy and be happier yourself.

Susan J McCann

Happiness coach

@susanjmccann

Are you frustrated at not having the job you deserve?

Are you really angry at yourself, convinced you’ve let yourself down?

Great news! It doesn’t have to be that way.

You can change from today.

But are you ready for change?

Yes, I know. You think it’s impossible. You might be thinking: what can this one short post do to make such a difference?

There’s one easy-to-use strategy that was given to me, many years ago. So easy that you can hardly believe it works.

But it does!

Because millions of successful people are already using this one simple strategy. I would like to share it with you. You can start to use it today, as soon as you’ve read this post.

First of all, think about a Dream, a Goal, something that you really want that’s important to you.

Picture it in your mind. Really look at it, feel it and think about it, describe it to yourself in detail  Focus on it until it becomes a clear, vibrant picture that creates excitement and anticipation.

Now hold that feeling.

So, what is that word that would stop that dream from happening? That small word with such a huge impact is

Impossible!

You too can join those millions of successful people by eradicating that one simple word impossible from your thinking.

The Word impossible has a devastating effect on your subconscious.

Why?

Because that word stops our thinking.  It stops our subconscious looking for solutions. Solutions it could otherwise be searching for, working on, and figuring out 24/7. Until it discovers what you need to do.

That word impossible stops your conscious thoughts in their tracks. It programs your mind to tell you you can’t. It controls your mindset, attitude and actions. This negativity even affects how you view your life.

It kills your dreams.

That’s the very last thing you want, isn’t it?

Just like Jason and Mark.

Their Story

They are both in their mid 40’s, and have much in common: similar backgrounds, jobs,education. Both had been laid off and were looking for work.

scouring the papers, searching the internet, sending off their CVs. Each received rejection after rejection: over qualified, too expensive, too old. Both were disappointed, over and over, again and again.

Jason became discouraged, he eventually stopped searching for work. He moped around the house playing computer games. Watching TV.  Moaning to anyone who’d listen, how life had dealt him a bad hand. He felt he’d been tossed aside, thrown on the scrap heap.

You probably know lots of people  like that, who have given up, in all sorts of situations. Tragic. isn’t it?

But Mark kept going. He kept looking for work. He kept at it day after day, week after week, never giving up. Eventually he went to a small local company and spoke to the owner Michael:

 “Look, you can use my skills. I know you’ve no job to give me, but I can help you. I’ll volunteer my time. I must do something. I want to make a difference. I need to keep my skills up to date”

Michael eventually agreed: “OK but I can’t pay you.”

Mark went there everyday. He worked hard and made a difference. He was first one there in the morning, and the  last one to leave. He was cheerful, reliable and got on with everyone.  Six months later a manager left, and  Michael needed a replacement.

Guess who they selected? Yes, you guessed. Mark got the job.

They liked him, he was trustworthy, dependable, a good worker who had proved his worth. They were happy with him.

What was the difference between Jason and Mark?

Yes. Of course. That one little word.

Jason had come to believe it was impossible to get work, so he gave up and stopped trying. But Mark believed no matter how many knock-backs he got, that it was possible. He never gave up.

Just like Roger Bannister, never gave up.

Historic record breaker

Even though it was believed to be physically impossible to break the 4 minute mile. Roger Bannister would not believe it was impossible; no, he worked hard and trained hard.

And in April 1954 he eventually broke the record, running a mile in under 4 minutes. Something that was thought to be impossible was now shown to be possible. And guess what?

Within weeks other runners also did it. Since then well over 20,000 others, including school children have broken this record.

WHY were they now able to do it?  They no longer believe it’s impossible

Dr Robert Schuller believes that the word

“Impossible is a knife thrust at the heart of creativity”

He has learned that it blocks our thinking, it blocks our minds from looking for possibillities. It halts progress, research, innovation, technology;  even our dreams.

Let’s be honest

We need to unmask the word and call these impossibilities by their right name: Fears, that take over our thinking.

They are more honestly known as:

• Prejudices
• Challenges
• Problems
• Blind Spots
• Fatigue
• Ignorance
• Fear
• Excuses
• Ego Problems
• Laziness

It’s not impossible. You just don’t know how to do it yet.

It’s not impossible. You just need more time.

It’s not impossible. You just have to find new ways of doing it.

It’s not impossible. You just need to ask for help.

It’s not impossible. You just need to believe in yourself.

Now think back to what I asked you earlier. About what you want, your dream or goal. What would it mean to you to achieve it? What would it mean to your family, friends and loved ones? What would your life be like?  What other opportunities would open up to you? What else would be possible?

Now eradicate, erase, and expel the word Impossible from your thinking. Obliterate the word from your language. Free your subconscious to work 24/7 to find all the solutions you need. You can change your life by eradicating that one simple word

Are you willing to do this?

Now look again at your goals and dreams. Decide right now to make them possible. Now you know they’re not impossible, you just need to find out what you need to learn and do, then take daily action.

Wishing you the very best on making your goals and dreams, realities.

I’d love to hear about any tips or simple strategies that you’ve used to achieve your goals.

You may be asking “isn’t happiness a natural thing; why do we need to learn how?”

Just think for a moment about all the sad and unhappy events in your life: the obstacles, frustrations, hurts and injustices you often suffer. There is no doubt in my mind that we’re all victims of events outside of our control.

This is one of the reasons that we often lose sight of our inner happiness. Life can leave us feeling hurt, often cynical and in many cases lacking in self-esteem, self-love, and confidence in ourselves. When this happens, it’s no wonder that we find it hard to feel happy. I know; this happened to me.

How I learned to be happy

I learned to be happy through a series of (traumatic) events in my life that changed how I saw myself and the world around me. During this period I gradually learned to love and trust myself, take stock of what I already had and appreciate what others did for me in a way that led to inner happiness.

Once I decided to learn how, I discovered that with a change in mindset happiness could be found.

Mindset of happiness

Having a mindset of happiness is a decision to look for happiness in every little thing you can. A mindset of finding ways to be grateful for who you are, what you already have, and what others do for you. You can learn to find greater happiness in doing things for others, finding pleasure in making others happy.

Learn to appreciate other people, nature and, if like me, your faith in God. But whatever your beliefs in faith or science most psychologists would agree that as humans we all need to feel good, in our minds and hearts, about ourselves and the world around us in order to reach our full potential.

Anyone can learn to be happy

We can all take this journey of transformation, finding new ways to be grateful every single day. We can all learn to do this, it’s not so hard. Start making a list every evening of all the things you could or should be grateful for. Write them down, keep a special book to write them in. That way you can remind yourself of all the good things in life, that we often take for granted, or forget.

Remember you are of value to the world

Write down all the things you do for others, all the times people thank you for your kindness. You are valuable to your world, but you can so often forget this. You make a difference to your world when you look after:

• Nature

• Animals

• People

You make a difference:

• When you say a few kind words to another person

• When you smile at someone

• When you do things for others

• When you show gratitude

• When you volunteer for charities

• When you give or donate gifts or money to good causes

• To your family

• To your friends

• To your partner

• To your children

• To your work

• To society

You are of value in so many areas of life that the list is endless.

When you focus on these things, you learn how to feel good about yourself. You learn to feel an inner happiness. Being happy isn’t about being wealthy, or being famous, it’s about love and value. Feeling happy for others, as well as yourself. Recognising what you can be happy and grateful for.

We can all learn to be happy.

You just need to decide and  learn the mindset of happiness. Do it daily and make it a habit.

It’s a wonderful journey that can lead you to happiness.

Susan J McCann

Motivational Coach

@susanjmccann 

P.S. What are you grateful for. How have you learned to be Happy? I would love to know. Please leave a comment below.

So many people see dyslexia as a disadvantage, why is that?

The reason is that they don’t fit into the perceived “normal” tick box in our education systems. In the past, and even now in some cases, the education system has just simply not understood why and how a dyslexic child learns and processes information.

Because dyslexic children found it either impossible, or really difficult, to learn in the same way other children do, they were labeled as either stupid or lazy. We now realize that such a view is simply ignorance. They don’t need to be cured it’s not a disease, as some people still believe; they just think differently.

I’m dyslexic, and understand all too clearly how it felt. When I was at school, my parents were told I was bright but very lazy, not applying myself. I knew this wasn’t true, as I worked really hard trying to learn. So I thought I must be stupid. I didn’t discover I had dyslexia until I was 40, as a mature student in my second year at University. It was like a great weight had lifted from my shoulders.

It was a really emotional experience; finding out, for the first time, that I wasn’t stupid or lazy. My brain just processed information in a different way. Imagine if you can’t do something: like sing, draw or dance; and you’re told you must be stupid, because you can’t do these simple things. How do you think that would make you feel?

Would it mean that, just because you didn’t have these skills, then you wouldn’t amount to much. What would that do to your self-esteem and confidence?

Hopefully, we’ve now moved on from this perception, and use different methods of educating dyslexic children. Now they can reach their full potential, and feel valued and confident about themselves.

Even so many people, outside the education system, still persist in seeing being dyslexic as a disadvantage. This is because they only focus on the problems that dyslexics have in learning:

• Reading
• Writing
• Maths
• Working memory

Employers and work colleagues often assume that dyslexics will have trouble doing their job. There’s still a lack of understanding about the surprising benefits of being a dyslexic. Society at large is still focussed only on their problems, not their strengths that they can bring to the world.

The positive strengths dyslexics have

Their are a lot of benefits to being dyslexic; they tend to be more creative. They very often think way outside of the box, and generally see the bigger picture. Dyslexics usually have far more empathy for others who are disadvantaged by negative attitudes in society. Maybe that’s because they may have suffered themselves from how others see and judge them.

Lots of research has shown the many benefits of dyslexia

“The gift of dyslexia is truly the gift of mastery. A dyslexic person can master things faster than the ordinary person can even understand them” Ronald D Davis

“You need dyslexics around; they really change our view of the things”                                                                                                                                                   Professor John Stein, a Professor of Neuroscience at Oxford University

“Millions of individuals with dyslexia are good at what they do, not in spite of their dyslexic processing differences, but because of them”  Brock l. Eide, MD., MA and Fernette F. Eide, MD, from their book  The Dyslexic Advantage

 Some famous dyslexics: 

• Albert Einstein
• Richard Branson
• Leonardo da Vinci
• Winston Churchill
• Hans Christian Andersen

As you can see, dyslexics have a lot to offer.

Instead of  being a disadvantage, the dyslexic way of thinking should be seen as a real advantage, not just to them but to society. Let’s hope society at large can look upon dyslexics in a better light from now on.  How about you?

Susan J McCann,

@susanjmccann

After all, what’s life all about, if not love and happiness?

Many of us are not always as happy as we should be. Why is that?

Well, maybe it’s because we are searching for happiness in the wrong places. Maybe we have gone down the wrong track. We often travel through life as passengers, but are we on the right track?

Life offers us many different paths. Sometimes it’s difficult to choose which way to go. That’s what’s so exciting about it; it’s often a great adventure. However, sometimes we just drift into things, and stay for the ride.

If you’re enjoying it, and find you have found your passion on the way, you feel fulfilled – living a rewarding and happy life. That’s wonderful. If, on the other hand, you’re just treading water, feeling as if life is passing you by, then you need to stop and think.

Are you on a journey of fulfillment? Are you happy with how things are going in your life?

If you are, I congratulate you; you have achieved true success. You are on the right path, you have found your true destiny, and are thoroughly enjoying your journey. You are one of the lucky few who have followed your true path.

However, if you’re unsatisfied with where you’re at: wanting more from life, knowing it’s out there, but not knowing how to get there . . . then read on.

Do you want more from life; you want to change the world, make a difference, make your mark. Does that sound like you? The big problem is that although we have been taught, at school or college, about the basic skills we may need for work, they left out the main deal.

The most important one, in my opinion. It’s about who we are as individuals, and who and what we could be, if we knew how.

What is your dream, your ambition? Is it having lots of money?

Yes, we can all say I want to be rich, or famous, or have lots of power. Do we think that, if we get those things, then we will be truly happy and fulfilled? Once we’re rich, famous or powerful will we have finally reached our full potential? Or discovered our true mission in life?

Think so? Just read the papers, look at the news and gossip columns; they’re filled mostly with famous people, rich people, politicians, all types of power brokers. How many of them are in the news for all the wrong reasons?

Do they seem happy to you, do they look like they’re truly fulfilled, living a life of contentment in all areas of life? How many of them have happy marriages, relationships, or feel great about themselves?

We’re always seeing stories or interviews about how so many of them are unhappy. Searching for happiness and fulfilment, while in reality they very often feel pain, rejection, depression, lack of self-belief or even despair – despite all their fame and money.

Of course, having money, fame or power doesn’t mean you can’t be happy. It just means that searching for happiness or fulfillment, through gaining those things alone, is a fool’s errand.  Most of us in the western world have been told by our parents, teachers, and society in general, that we need to get a good job, to support ourselves and our family.

That’s all well and good; after all, you need money to live. But success has been seen in terms of fame, money and power. The need to be successful and happy has been equated with these things to such an extent that we, you and I, have been sold a dream that many of us have gone along with.

Is your search for happiness getting the right results?

Research over the last 50 years in the western world has shown that, although we have increased in wealth and prosperity, this does not guarantee our happiness (see Richard O’Connor’s book “Happiness”). In fact scientists have found that, over the years, studies show that people are less happy every year, even though many of us are far better off than our ancestors. Why is that?

Well, some of the by-products of searching for the dream of riches and success may actually be the cause of much of our stress, depression, drugs, drink, obesity, anxiety and low self-esteem.

Not being rich or successful can make people feel like losers. How often have you heard people say “I’ve lost everything, I’ll always be a nobody, I’m a failure” –  just because they have lost their job, or not made it to no. 1, or been given the promotion they expected to get? Does our inner happiness depend totally on undependable external factors?

Even if we do make money, it never seems enough; or, if we get that important job, the dream just doesn’t live up to the promise of the happiness we thought it would bring. For example: overwork, and spending less time with family and friends. Not looking after our health. Not feeling fulfilled when we do finally reach your goals.

We often stay in jobs we hate, because we need the money for the lifestyle we think we need, to be seen as a success. Constantly having to keep up with the image of being successful by having a bigger house, the latest phone, the fastest car.

Even worse is the insatiable appetite to be young, skinny and beautiful. The image that is portrayed in the media as being the ideal, the way to be happy. They tell us that if we keep young, slim, physically attractive, then we will be happier.

Many men, women, boys and girls out there believe in this fairy story. They are driven to try and find happiness in the pursuit of external trappings, material wealth, unhealthy diets and cosmetic surgery, in the unrealistic search for that perfect young body. No wonder so many people turn to drugs, drink, food, shopping, gambling, etc: using other ways to find happiness.

We all need to stop searching for the illusive rainbow, the pot of gold that we’ve bought into; true happiness won’t be found there. When the dream is an illusion, it will always let us down.

Many give up, give in, or stop searching – while most of us just keep on going stoically, day after day, trudging on in the same old way. Not taking any action, but knowing there is more to life than this.

So what’s to be done? Where are you on your journey to happiness?

Well, wherever you are on your own journey, stop and look at where you are right now. Ask yourself these questions:

• Am I happy on this track?
• Am I happy doing what I’m doing everyday?
• Do I spend enough time with my family and friends?
• Do I enjoy my work?
• Do I feel fulfilled?
• Do I look after my health?
• Am I using my gifts to help others, in a way that makes me feel good?
• Have I found the right partner?
• Am I happy with my lot in life?
• Could I do much better?
• Could I learn new skills and develop my talents?
• Do I add value to others?
• Do I really know what I want?
• Am I the person I want to be?
• What would I really like to do in life, if money didn’t matter?
• What do I really care about?
• Who do I want to be?
• Could I take time out each day to reflect on who I want to be?

Ask yourself these questions every day, until you start finding out the answers. Then write them down. Spend serious time each day, thinking about who you are and what you want to be. Success is measured by how we live our lives, and how that makes us feel. Happiness is an internal journey. One that will take us on our true path to happiness. Because the fact is we can only control our own feelings; we cannot control our external world, outside events.

We can learn to be happy, we can find the right road to follow to be happy and fulfilled. It does need work, it often takes time to discover, it will be difficult and challenging at times; but it’s a great adventure. You just have to recognise if you’re on the right track, and if not: stop, and find the right one for you. One that you have full control of, that doesn’t depend on other people’s expectations. Don’t just drift along aimlessly, on a ready-made path that you’re not happy with. We can all change our direction, we just need to discover which one is right for us.

We only get one chance in this life; so make sure you’re on the right journey for you, one that will bring you true happiness.

Let me know where you are on your journey.

I’d love to hear how you discovered the right road for you.

Susan J McCann

@susanjmccann

It’s fear, isn’t it?

• Fear that you’ll make a fool of yourself
• Fear that you’ll forget your words
• Fear that you won’t be able to control your nerves

Do you feel like that?

I did, I used to dread getting up in public; it made me feel physically sick. I was comfortable doing a workshop for a small group, or speaking to people one-to-one; but put me in front of a big crowd, and I would be a nervous wreck. My heart would be pounding so hard and loud that I imagined people could hear it all around the room. My hands would shake, and I’d go bright red with embarrassment. That’s one of the reasons I joined a speaking group, to help overcome my nerves. Since then I’ve learnt to overcome my fears, and feel far more comfortable and confident about speaking in public. I still get nervous, but they no longer control me.

Have you ever had any fear about public speaking? Well, if you have then fear no more.

I’m going to share 3 easy steps, that I learnt, that helped me to overcome fear and feel far more confident.

1. Speak about what you know
2. Plan and prepare
3. Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse

Do all these things, and you can overcome fear and feel far more confident.

1  Speak about what you know

When we’re talking with our friends, family, colleagues and customers we very rarely dry up or get anxious. In fact, it’s often quite the opposite: we feel very comfortable and confident.  Why is that?

It’s usually because you’re talking about:

• What you know
• What you’re interested in
• What you’re passionate about

So when you speak in public, if you talk about what you know using your own experiences, examples or stories, you will feel far more comfortable.  This will help you to overcome fear and feel far more confident.

 2  Plan and prepare

We all want to feel more confident – none of us want to dry up, and forget where we’re going with the speech. One of the ways to stop this from happening is to plan and prepare your talk.  It’s a bit like going on a journey: you wouldn’t go on a long  journey to a meeting, say from New York to London, without planning the route. You’d find out the best way to get there, what transport to use and how long it would take. Most of us would check all this out before leaving for our destination. That’s just how you should treat your speech.

Once you decide what you’re going to talk about, you need to decide where you want to go with the talk. What journey you want to take your audience on. Youe need to map out your talk. This will help you to get to know the route and structure so well that you won’t get lost:

• The Introduction: this is the start of your audience’s journey
• The main body of the talk, usually split into 3/4 main points: this is the route you take them on
• The conclusion: the final destination, they know they have arrived and the speech has ended

At university one of my tutors once gave me this great piece of advice: when writing or speaking we need to remember this very simple formula

1. Introduction  = You tell them what you’re going to tell them
2. Main Body  = You tell them
3. Conclusion   = You tell them what you told them

You can’t do this if you don’t plan and prepare. If you map out the journey, and set the route, it helps you to stay on track; your audience will know where you’re going. That helps them understand what you’re talking about. When you know the structure you feel more in control, less anxious about forgetting what comes next. This all helps you to overcome fear and feel far more confident.

3  Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse

If you want to feel more confident about delivering your speech, you need to be like an actor and learn your part. You may be thinking, “That’s too difficult”,  “I could never do that”. But just remember: how did you learn your times tables or Alphabet?

We learnt them through repetition, didn’t we?

There are many ways to rehearse, and learn your speech:

1. Some people practise by reading their speech over and over again until they can remember the words.
2. Others record themselves saying the speech, then listen to themselves.
3. People often get a friend or partner to video them on their phone or tablet. Then watch, and see how they look, as well as how they sound.
4. I practise in front of my husband until I get comfortable with my speech; he helps by encouraging and giving me positive feedback. This helps me only learn the speech, but to tinker with it, and change it for the better.
5. Be like a ballet dancer and practise in front of a mirror. Not only will you hear what you sound like, you can see what your body language looks like to the audience.
6. Close your eyes and practise visualising yourself doing the speech all the way through, like a professional. Imagine yourself feeling really confident, enjoying the feeling of the audience giving you a rapturous response. Use your mind and body together, allowing your imagination and creativity to enhance the picture. Let yourself feel what it’s like to hear the audience applaud.  Just think 3D, HD and surround sound. The louder, the bigger, the brighter, the better. Doing this exercise, several times every day up to your speech, will work wonders.
7. You can also practise breathing in while saying re, and when breathing out say lax to control your nerves (re-lax). There are lots of videos and articles on the web that cover this in far more depth. Just find out which one works best for you.

Now you have reached your final destination; you can clearly see the route you need to take, if you want to overcome your fear. All you have to do is to remember to:

1. Speak about what you know
2. Plan and prepare
3. Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse – relentlessly!

Take these 3 easy steps, and you will feel far more confident.

Susan McCann

@susanjmccann